Read more
The post Bipolar Disorder Warriors and the Weapons They Use in Battle appeared first on Life Conquering Blog.
]]>“I fight for my health every day in a way most people don’t understand. I’m not lazy. I’m a warrior.” – HealthyPlace.com
If you have bipolar disorder or any other affliction you can consider yourself a warrior. Type in the Comments section the diagnosis of an ailment, physical or mental affliction that you battle every day.
You might have a speech impediment, cancer, Tourettes Syndrome, anxiety, Lou Gehrig’s Disease or any of the numerous monsters I didn’t mention, you are a warrior. You become a force to be reckoned with the moment you say “(insert your illness)” will not get the best of me”! Of all the mental and physical ailments we have in this world, no matter your story, these monsters are extremely difficult to overcome. And just getting out of bed, taking one step at a time, breathing in and out, YOU ARE A WARRIOR.
Preparing for Battle
Speaking as one of the brave Bipolar Disorder Warriors, I know if I go into battle, I must be prepared. As a warrior, I need the right weapons in order to pull myself out of the pit of despair when I am depressed; keep the argument with my boss from growing into a full-blown manic episode; or letting my proper sleep hygiene disappear among the stars.
In this blog post, I am going to introduce the number one weapon I use as a Bipolar Disorder Warrior. That weapon is prayer.
Bipolar Disorder Warriors and Prayer
The Power of Prayer
“Suffering provides the gym equipment on which my faith can be exercised.” – Joni Eareckson Tada
If you are a Christian, there are several weapons that you could use in the midst of the battle. Remember the Armor of God? My favorite weapon I like to go to, over and over and over again, is prayer. Some of my most challenging fights have been won with the battle implement prayer. Prayer taught me just how much I didn’t know about anything and especially just how much I am unfit for the battle. Prayer directs me to the Source of Power. That is why I pray to the One who knows everything and is Most Powerful, too.
I have been a Christian longer than I have had bipolar disorder. When I received the bipolar diagnosis 11 years after the symptoms surfaced, I had no idea how to respond as a Christian. Even though there is a history of mental illness on both sides of my family, that subject was never brought up at birthday parties or during the giving of gifts at Christmas. But that didn’t matter due to the fact the Christian exposure I received at church as a child, once maybe three times or more a week, actually helped me when I was in compromising situations or when I have suicidal ideations.
Bipolar Disorder Warriors who Pray
Believing I am a Mental Health Warrior
I do not always believe I measure up as a Bipolar Disorder Warrior. I bet some of you think that way, too.
In the midst of the roller coaster of moods, OCD, ADHD, and severe anxiety, I always expect for the warrior feeling to show up. And of course I should expect to feel like a warrior. God made me. He knitted me together in my mother’s womb. He knows the number of hairs on my head. And those statements above are facts from the Bible, let yourself believe.
Sometimes the belief in my prayers is likened to a direct line (without any busy signals) to the Creator of the Universe. Other times, because I am human, I feel all I will get are busy signals or the voicemail. I know from years of seeing God work that He will give me an answer in due time. Whether it is yes, no, maybe, wait awhile, God will answer us in His perfect timing.
When God turns me around to stand in front of His holy mirror, I see myself as He sees me. Standing in front of God’s mirror, I feel immersed in all of God’s power and strength. I also feel loved. There are no personal judgements glaring at me. I feel peace like none other before. When I see myself the way God sees me, I become that warrior, yes, even the warrior with bipolar 1 including psychotic features, one who will walk tall and shout loudly to share God’s love for a mentally ill middle-aged woman.
At that point is when I know I am ready to face any problem inside my head or out. The Bible says when I am weak, God is strong. He will fight for me. God will give me whatever signals I need to make prayer the first thing I reach for when the challenges begin!
What is the first thing you reach for when in the middle of a challenge mentally or physically? Write your answers in the Comments section below.
Warriors Praying
Call to Action
Share about a time when you felt like a Warrior. How does it feel to be a Warrior? How do you conjure up those warrior feelings when the going gets tough? Put your answers in the comment section below or email me at [email protected].
Going Furtherhttps://lifeconquering.org/anxiety-2/
https://www.focusonthefamily.com/faith/faith-in-life/prayer/prayer
https://www.crosswalk.com/faith/prayer/
Life Conquering and Psych Central (Mental Health Discoveries)
The post Bipolar Disorder Warriors and the Weapons They Use in Battle appeared first on Life Conquering Blog.
]]>Read more
The post World Bipolar Day 2018 appeared first on Life Conquering Blog.
]]>
World Bipolar Day 2018
Life Conquering Blog for Mental Health is aligned with WBD’s mission. Life Conquering uses a blog and other social media sites to encourage people with a mental illness and to educate those without in order to tear down stigmas. If you have not stopped by Life Conquering Blog, here is the address: https://lifeconquering.org/.
I encourage all Life Conquering Blog followers as well as frequent visitors to participate in the celebration of World Bipolar Day 2018. You may or may not know someone with bipolar. Take this next week leading up to WBD to brainstorm ideas how you can make someone with bipolar be comfortable in their own skin and feel accepted in their environment. Then again, you might have bipolar. Think of some ways you could thank someone who has stood by your side and show them your appreciation.
World Bipolar Day 2018
Once you brainstorm some ideas, email me at lifeconquering@gmail.com and share with me your thoughts. But don’t just think of something and not do it. Step out of your comfort zone and MAKE A CHANGE FOR GOOD!
Below are some websites and blogs that you can share with your friends, family and co-workers.
References
http://www.worldbipolarday.org/
.
The post World Bipolar Day 2018 appeared first on Life Conquering Blog.
]]>Read more
The post Twelve bipolar GIF’s appeared first on Life Conquering Blog.
]]>Step out when you are ready to encourage others with your story. Reach out to safe places such as the local chapter of the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance in your hometown or state. There you can share your journey with mental illness.
12 Bipolar GIF’s
- My moods cannot be controlled as if scheduling them on a calendar.
Oh, how I wish I could control my moods that way! I will never be depressed in the morning or the afternoon or evening. Or when it is raining. Or when my husband goes to work. My racing thoughts would shut up when I go to bed, get a massage or get a shower or bubble bath. I will have just the right amount of mania to help me tackle the cleaning. Or to have it when I am at the grocery store so I can get out of there fast.
You get what you get. Manic, hypomanic or depressed.
Bipolar is a brain disorder, too. I am incapable of stopping or starting the bipolar roller coaster that is going on inside my head. The chemicals in my brain fire or do not fire due to bipolar. I take medicine to help push or pull my brain in the right direction so I can function.
2. This is a pretty good illustration of my bipolar moods every day. 
It is rare that I would go a day without my moods shifting in any direction. As you see in the cell phone GIF, this represents just how quickly my moods can change.
Just recently, I spoke with a woman who has bipolar, too. She was explaining how long she goes between episodes. “Wow! Good for her!” I thought. For me,I have ultradian cycling most of the day or mixed episodes. This basically means my moods change a bunch.
3. This is what it looks like in my mind during a manic episode. I am 
constantly thinking and talking to myself. The ideas are coming in like a meteor shower. I feel alive. Excited. I can climb Mt. Everest by myself. I am signing up for all kinds of opportunities without any time to dedicate to them. Buying all kinds of shoes and purses. And talking to people who I have been avoiding for months.
4. Sometimes, I act out at the grocery store when I am manic-y with rage. It does’t take much. I may be standing in a mile-long line, the person in front of me is not going fast enough, the item I want to purchase is not available or the aisle I want to enter has a shopping cart jam. Sometimes words actually come out. In the state of mood I am in, I do not care it I am heard. And sometimes they are all trapped in my mind, unable to scream out due to prayer. Yes! Prayer. Needless to say, I do a lot of praying while at the grocery. .
5. This is me when my thoughts flow easily and are also coherent and organized when I am writing. They basically make sense, I am creative with boundless energy. I can stay up all night writing. I feel young again. I am a writing scholar. Dreams and delusions flood my mind about the present and the future. 
6. This describes the sum of the various parts of my mind and body when I am in an ultradian cycle. I tend to flip-flop between each pole. The frequency of which the moods change could happen in months, years, weeks, days or hours. I have managed to switch from depression to mania in mere seconds multiple times. Tears falling from my eyes,staining my cheeks. At the same time, I am laughing like I’m mad. It scared the shit out of my husband. Now that says a lot, because he is a real tough guy.
7. This is when I cannot write PERIOD. I cannot form sentences, paragraphs – not to mention thoughts or ideas! This is happening a great deal lately. I started drafts of about six or more blog posts from the beginning of February up until now. NONE of the drafts have been completed and published. Today, I was depressed most of the day and it has taken me all day long to work on a post. It still will not be finished in time to publish. The depression always stunts the growth of the creativity. 
8. When I have a bipolar road rage moment, I sound my horn, loudly and proudly. That is really as far as it goes in the real world. Now I might drive more aggressively to my destination, let the incident stew in my head and even tell my husband with grandeur what happened once he gets home from work. I’m so glad brains are private and horns are loud. 
9. This is me when I am in a mixed episode. During a mixed episode, you experience both mania and depression at the same time. Whenever I am mixed, I cannot make up my mind what I want to do because both poles are tugging at me What I usually do in a mixed state is just sit there and stare into nothing. 
10. This is my psychotic brain everyday. Hallucinations in all five senses. 
Delusions that never go away. Paranoid in my own house and outside my house. I do not like going to bed for fear of what will be done to me. And I had a psychotic break.
11. GIF’s of people who have bipolar. They look just like all the other people around them. They are moms, dads, brothers, sisters, painters, teachers, doctors, chefs, actresses, pastors, secretaries, judges, counselors, you name it.
Carrie Fisher
Bradley Cooper
Delonte West
Ernest Hemmingway
Amy Winehouse
Catherine Zeta-Jones
References
https://giphy.com/explore/bipolar-happiness
https://giphy.com/search/bipolar-road-rage
https://giphy.com/search/bipolar-laptop-rage
https://giphy.com/search/bipolar-psychotic
https://giphy.com/explore/carrie-fisher
https://giphy.com/search/bipolar
The post Twelve bipolar GIF’s appeared first on Life Conquering Blog.
]]>Read more
The post Unmotivated bipolar appeared first on Life Conquering Blog.
]]>
Unmotivated bipolar – what it looks like
It never fails, I get excited about a little project I want to accomplish, then somebody or something throws the brake release and I come to a dead stop. You need to realize that people with this symptom feel horrible. I mean dirt off a tin can in the sewer horrible. The body is encased in concrete from head to toe. It hurts to move. Actually they can’t move in most situations. All I ever want to do is stare at a wall or out the window for hours unending. I want to cry. I want to cut myself. I want to cuss somebody out. I want to hit a punching bag.
Decisions
At this juncture, I can either pick myself off the floor and fight tooth and nail against unmotivated bipolar. Or I can just sit back like the beagle seen here. Chillin’ out and waiting for the sun to rise on the horizon. This too shall pass. I have made both decisions. I had my reasons. But I have chosen to get on the couch and stare more times then I care to admit.
How can you help?
Yes, you can help. I challenge you to be a proactive friend. If your mentally ill co-worker is having motivation issues at work, then try out the following.
- Be a listening ear. The last thing they want is someone yammering in their ear about kids, work, finances, blah-blah-blah. Now I do not mean to paint bipolars as self-centered friends. The truth of the matter, the majority of this world does not know how to talk to an unmotivated bipolar, or to someone with depression, or PTSD, or AD/HD, bipolar, schizophrenia. You catch my drift?
- Do not draw attention to your friend. They are already hurting enough. If they want to do something, go to a quiet dinner or coffee shop or bookstore and enjoy each others company.
- Do not kid with them or scold them for not being productive. Listen, we really do want to be productive. Honestly. The chemicals in our brain are working against us.
- Get a bead on your friend whether or not they want encouragement. Usually, I just want to be left alone.
- Snoopy is correct when he says he is the victim. When your brain chemistry is f*cked up like ours, It is like somebody has come in and flooded my brain with radiator fluid. Just be a friend.
The post Unmotivated bipolar appeared first on Life Conquering Blog.
]]>Read more
The post Is bipolar an excuse for bad behavior? appeared first on Life Conquering Blog.
]]>Bipolar an excuse?
In my research, I was completely shocked at how far the door swung in one particular direction from so-called “fact based” organizations.
- “Mental Illness is not an Excuse to be an Asshole” Psychology Today
- “Stop Equating Mental Illness and Bad Behavior” National Association for Mental Illness Rhode Island
- “Is Mental Illness an Excuse for Bad Behavior?” HealthyPlace
- “Mental Illness or Personality Traits?: The Roots of “Bad” Behavior in Your Partner” PsychCentral
- “When is Mental Illness Just an Excuse for Bad Behavior” Kings River Life
In my experience as a bipolar 1 as well as having friends with or without a known mental illness, each mental illness publication listed here is stigmatizing the mental illness community except HealthyPlace.
The bad
During my travels with bipolar, I have done a whole slew of things that caused pain, embarrassment, loss of integrity and much more. The one manic symptom that I go to is risky behavior. Right smack dab in the middle of the mania, I am on a high like none other. I can seriously sit here and say when I embarked on those risky behaviors, I was not in my right mind.
bipolar an excuse
If you have ever felt depressed, you understand when I say “I was in a deep pit”. “I could not get out of the pit.” “No manner of encouragement of the sincerest interest could get me out.” If you suffer from depression, you have been there when you were unable to speak at work; unable to focus on the dinner party you planned; so full of anxiety that you cannot leave your desk at work even to go to the breakroom
I have had mean thoughts. The voices in my head have told me mean and hurtful things. Somethings I have acted on while others just slipped out my left ear. I have also had inappropriate thoughts and acted on them. The risky behaviors were alluring and I did not mind participating.
The good
I know what you must be thinking. She is just delusional and dead wrong about bipolar behavior. The activities I mentioned are all just bad behavior therefor I must be a bad person.
But what you do not know about me is that those behaviors did not describe me some 25 years ago. If you were to speak to anybody in my past (meaning eight-teen and younger), the people that I saw in school who were just acquaintances I knew back then would be more than surprised. Shocked. Dumbfounded. Disbelieving. Astonished. Stunned. Stupefied. These behaviors did not describe the person I was in middle school and high school.
I believe the only person who knew me back then (at least what I dared to share) was my best friend from elementary school, Beth Patterson.
You see, before the bipolar picked up steam and started to show itself in public, I was quiet and shy. Kept to myself. Didn’t speak much. Almost awkward in my own skin. Felt inadequate. Then the bipolar exploded into my life in my twenties (the good with the bad).
behavior an excuse
- From shy to loud. And I mean very loud. When I laugh, people can hear me in the next county.
- From withdrawn to open. This was my catalyst in me meeting all the men I was eventually with.
- From not talkative to talking a bunch and VERY fast. One time I heard what I sounded like on my husband’s voicemail. I was talking so fast that I was incomprehensible. Sometimes I have no idea I am doing it.
- From awkward to self-assured.
- From inadequate to unstoppable.
grace
So, is bipolar an excuse for bad behavior?
I believe if the person is actively in a bipolar episode and they act out and it is not their regular behavior, then yes. If the person is outside a bipolar episode and is not being affected by previous episodes, then I don’t think so.
The bottom line is, there has to be grace for the bipolar person in order to answer the question “Is bipolar an excuse?” in the affirmative. None of us are perfect. We all have our faults. Bipolar is a mood disorder. However, that makes it sound like child’s play, doesn’t it? It’s not. It is a cobra ready to strike.
References
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/panic-life/201412/mental-illness-is-not-excuse-be-asshole
https://namirhodeisland.org/stop-equating-mental-illness-bad-behavior/
https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/breakingbipolar/2012/07/is-mental-illness-excuse-bad-behavior/
https://blogs.psychcentral.com/wellness/2011/05/mental-illness-or-personality-traits/
http://kingsriverlife.com/10/08/when-is-mental-illness-just-an-excuse-for-bad-behavior/
Going Further
https://lifeconquering.org/bipolar-1-episode/
https://lifeconquering.org/ultra-rapid-cycling-bipolar/
The post Is bipolar an excuse for bad behavior? appeared first on Life Conquering Blog.
]]>Read more
The post Syncing life’s ups and downs with my own mental illness ups and downs appeared first on Life Conquering Blog.
]]>
life’s ups and downs
Life’s ups and down
You never know when life or people or situations will throw you a curve ball. I had a big curve ball that initiated an up and down that left me wondering the uncertainties of my life. Someone or something like a car, house, job or marriage can be there one minute and another minute get swallowed up from the fallout from life’s ups and downs.
I turned the new diagnosis of diabetes of Jake, my Dachshund/Beagle mix up and down into a learning opportunity. I have always been scared of needles since they used to make me very woozy. When I was taught to give Jake his insulin shots, I shocked myself right out of my socks! I had no problem giving him his insulin. At the beginning of his diagnosis, I was of the mindset that James, my husband, needed to learn how to give the shots to Jake, too. Then, I could easily get out of the responsibility.
Subsequently, when Jake got so sick that we thought we were going to lose him twice, I worried I had failed at my attempts to carry out the doctor’s orders. My heart was aching for my little buddy. I was frightened when I saw him lose muscle control in his back legs, fall down and shake almost like having a seizure. I wanted to freak out! At the same time, I wanted to be strong for my Jake. Changing my focus from failure to strength, even in tears, helped me think more clearer in the situation. Jake is getting better with an increase in his insulin. Now we are learning to deal with all the tiny pieces of this canine diabetic puzzle.
mental illness ups and downs
Mental illness ups and downs
Another puzzle I am still attempting to figure out, is my mental health. In the past, I have spoken about the roller coaster rides I have been on concerning my own mental illness. Sometimes, I was not very victorious because I tended to focus on the negative. Hence I rolled over and took a nap on my couch or called James up crying. At the moment, that seemed like the appropriate things to do. While under the pressures of the past two to three weeks, I decided to choose different tactics instead o sleeping and crying. I looked at the situations I was going through square in the face, pulled up my big girl panties, said a prayer and dove in.
One of my changes/promises for this year was to not to give up so easily. When I would give up, I would make all kinds of excuses for myself. I was pathetic. I hated the person I had become. You see, this promise to leave my excuses behind has been extremely difficult. No matter if it were an up or a down I made excuses for everything I did or did not do.
It is easy to make excuses with my bipolar 1 with psychotic features, rapid cycling and mixed episodes because it is challenging to live with. Now, I did fight through a few things and left the the excuses at home. With most things I didn’t even attempt to fight.
I have read in memoirs, on the internet as well as have seen for myself in support groups just how strong a bipolar person like me can be through the ups and downs of my mental health and life. It is a lot of work fighting, yet it is worth every second of it.
The post Syncing life’s ups and downs with my own mental illness ups and downs appeared first on Life Conquering Blog.
]]>Read more
The post Bipolar Disorder Symptoms – Are You Missing the Subtle Signs? appeared first on Life Conquering Blog.
]]>With the complexities of bipolar disorder symptoms,they are often difficult for doctors to identify and understand. I was not diagnosed bipolar until I was 30 years old.
The National Institute of Health determined 2.6% of the adults in the USA live with bipolar disorder symptoms. However, the sobering thought is that the number is actually higher. Bipolar 1 disorder alone is often misdiagnosed or overlooked.
“Oh, I was only tired.”
Many diagnosed bipolars cover up what truly is going on:
1 because they are scared about what is going on with their bodies;
2. afraid what their friends will say about them;
3. unable to adapt to this new way of life; and
4. they do not want to take their medications.
I lived for such a long time hiding what was going on inside me from the people around me. I am learning it is important to talk about the struggles of bipolar disorder. However, you need to find the right people to share this piece of your life with: your therapist, psychiatrist, psychologist, someone from church, support group, family member or friend. I sure miss my support group.
Bipolar disorder symptoms are often misconstrued as chronic depression, anxiety or possibly moodiness. Saying trouble at work or tiredness is often a common complaint for a person hiding their bipolar symptoms.
Questions You should ask the Questionable Bipolar Person in Your Life
- Are your moods very extreme and generally pivot between high and low?
- Do you experience extreme exuberance along with episodes of depression?
- During these depressive states, do you experience significant trouble with your appetite, energy and sleep?
- Do you find it challenging to complete tasks and have a slew of half-complete projects in your life?
Comments
This information only scratches the surface in regards to subtle signs of bipolar. It also looks different in teenagers. Of course you may use the comments section below or my email address below to send questions, comments and short summaries on your own personal situations. I would LOVE to hear from you. [email protected]
Going Further
http://www.webmd.com/bipolar-disorder/guide/bipolar-disorder-warning-signs#1
http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/bipolar-disorder/symptoms-causes/dxc-20307970
https://lifeconquering.org/bipolar-roller-coaster/
https://lifeconquering.org/mania-depression/
https://lifeconquering.org/bipolar-disorder-symptoms/
The post Bipolar Disorder Symptoms – Are You Missing the Subtle Signs? appeared first on Life Conquering Blog.
]]>Read more
The post Bipolar Disorder Symptoms: Ideations, Hallucinations and a BIG Decision appeared first on Life Conquering Blog.
]]>Bipolar disorder symptoms can vary from person to person. Just because you saw the movie Silver Linings Play Book where Jennifer Lawrence and Bradley Cooper act as though they have bipolar disorder, doesn’t mean that all bipolars behave the same way. I have OCD tendencies like Bradley Cooper’s character as well as the extreme risk taking behaviors in Jennifer Lawrence’s character.
As I grow older and live more days with this diagnosis, I see it morph in front of me. One day I might pop up and feel my tendency toward ADHD to be stronger than the next day. Or it could be mixed episodes rising up to battle. My bipolar disorder symptoms are like the tides of the ocean: in some ways predictable and in other ways in the case of a tsunami, so completely out of control. For the doctor’s who couldn’t see the forest for the trees and did not believe I had bipolar 1 or even a mental illness as well as anybody else, continue to read on and discover more about some the symptoms of bipolar disorder I DO have.
Bipolar Ideations
I have had some crazy two weeks! The first week, my bipolar was off the chain. For one, I was having some scary ideations. I have had suicidal ideations before and got through them alive – obviously. But I have never had these thoughts that were flooding my mind for a few days. These thoughts scared me enough to want to reach out.
Hallucinations in Bipolar
At the same time, my auditory hallucinations were amped up so much that I was hearing things more than usual. Normally, I hear music or voices multiple times every day running around between my two ears. This particular week, I was having auditory hallucinations practically all day. The voices could be male, could be female. I have heard my name called on more than one occasion when there was no one there. I have heard my husband’s voice coming up the stairs when he was actually about 2.5 miles away from home. My mind was so full of just noise that I could not think.
Reaching Out for Help
I texted my psychologist who called me as soon as he read the text. He encouraged me to call my psychiatrist. I didn’t want to call my doctor at first, but I knew that was what I needed to do for my mental health.
My psychiatrist said I needed to go to the hospital. My heart sank in my chest. I have never been to the hospital for my mental issues. In my 20’s before I was diagnosed, there were a bunch of times where I probably should have checked myself into a mental hospital.
In the end, I refused to go. I was told by a friend who shares in my same hell that my psychiatrist might have an obligation to call the authorities since I refused help and was a danger to myself and others. She said the police could show up at my house. That never happened. I left early from work and took off the rest of the week. Being off from work and having an adjustment in my meds made a big difference
The Big Decision
My job is pretty stressful working for an attorney. Like most attorneys, he is not the cute and cuddly type. I used the time I took off for my crazy bipolar disorder symptoms to analyze my working situation and my level of stress. In the end, I gave my notice on that Friday of the same week.
I have felt such a weight lifted from my shoulders from quitting my job. Even though I am still working there for the next few weeks to help train my replacement, I am walking around lighter than air.
Email Me
Email me about a time in your life that you were really stressed out. How did you get through it? Email me at [email protected].
Going Further
http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/bipolar-disorder/symptoms-causes/dxc-20307970
https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/bipolar-disorder/index.shtml
The post Bipolar Disorder Symptoms: Ideations, Hallucinations and a BIG Decision appeared first on Life Conquering Blog.
]]>