Self-talk
In a May 2015 article in Psychology Today entitled “The Voice of Reason” the author discusses the research behind self-talk. Self-talk is where you use your inner voice to speak words to yourself in any given situation. For instance, you hit a homerun in the baseball game Tuesday night. Your inner voice says “Way to go!” On the flip side, you made a presentation to your boss and your colleagues which fell flat. You go back to your office and berate yourself on how unprepared you were by calling yourself an idiot and lazy.
The research according to this article backs up the idea that using positive statements to ourselves improves anxiety, fear and overall feelings about oneself in difficult situations. The article further discusses using your given name is even more beneficial than using the pronoun, I.
It Works!
I have used self-talk for a while now. Therapists and teachers have encouraged me to cheer myself on when the going got tough or before a major performance where I felt unsure of myself. It never occurred to me how important the right words spoken to oneself can be. On the flip side, negative words spoken in the heat of the moment can cause damage, too. I have had both the positive and the negative scripts played in my mind throughout my life. I must admit that sometimes it is easier to listen to the negative script.
Negative Self-Talk
I grew up in a hostile environment during my formative years. With an alcoholic dad and an explosive mother, our home was a powder keg ready to blow up at any minute. This environment was a breeding ground for a little girl to grow up with self-esteem issues. I have listened to the negative self-talk all through my life.
“Just give up.”
“You can’t do it!”
“No one cares about you.”
I remember wanting to try out for our middle school girls’ basketball team. It would have been great exercise for me since all of my other activities were sedentary. I also wanted the new challenge. My dad shut down my hoop dreams by saying I could not try out because I could not play basketball and besides I was too short.
Needless to say this crushed my self-esteem. Someone who was supposed to support me and believe in me was putting the negative self-talk inside my head for me. With that, I struggled to get involved in new activities because of the voices that said I could not do it.
Positive Self-Talk
I have learned ways to combat that negative self-talk. It is difficult at times because the negative script sometimes plays louder than the positive. That is when I have to listen real close to what my heart is saying.
As a Christian Jesus tells me to take all my thoughts captive and make them obedient to Him (2 Corinthians 10:5). If I do that when the negative script begins to play, I can stop it and replace the self-talk with thoughts like:
“Amy is a child of God” (Romans 8:16).
“Amy is forgiven” (Colossians 1:13-14).
“Amy is a new creation” (2 Corinthians 5:17).
“Amy is saved by grace through faith” (Ephesians 2:8).
When I am in a depressed mood and the negative self-talk begins to start up, I take them captive and speak truth to my soul. That makes such a huge difference in my attitude, my work performance and how I interact with others. This self-talk may be internal, but it has external effects.
Life Giving Words
The research says that self-talk is important. However, it matters what you say to yourself. You need to fill your mind with positive affirmations not the lies that Satan wants you to hear. If it is hard for you to remember positive affirmations, write them down on a note card and keep it in your pocket, wallet or purse. When you begin to hear the negative script start to play in your head, you can pull out your new script and replace it with the life giving words.