Lonely Ride on Bipolar Rollercoaster

Lonely Ride on Bipolar Rollercoaster

Every day is an up and down, twist and turn on a mental ride I call the bipolar rollercoaster. I ride the ups of the rollercoaster when I fight the bipolar on whether to go back to work after lunch. The downs of the rollercoaster bring me to my knees when simple chores around the house become too much for me. The twists and turns of the mental illness overwhelm me when I shy away from people at work or crowds.

It dawned on me that since I am a Christian, I have the Holy Spirit living inside me. When Christ left this earth, He promised His Holy Spirit would come and dwell inside us for all eternity. Now, I have always known I have the Holy Spirit inside me since my decision to become a Christian at 9 years old. But this fact took on a whole new meaning in light of my endless bipolar rollercoaster rides. I thought to myself, the Holy Spirit is coming along for each and every ride? The Holy Spirit answered within me a resounding “Yes!”

In the midst of my mental illness, I spend a lot of time feeling alone. I may have my husband to go to and share my issues with, but he could never fully comprehend what it is like to spend a day trapped on my bipolar rollercoaster. Actually, I do not want him to know what it is like. I wouldn’t wish this madness on my worst enemy. It is a living nightmare never knowing what mood is going to engulf you from one minute to the next and having absolutely no control over it.

Realizing the Holy Spirit is with me through every stomach churning hill on my bipolar rollercoaster, I do not feel so alone. I can pray to God knowing His Holy Spirit is camped out in my heart. Sometimes I do not know what to pray, I get so turned upside down. The Bible says the Holy Spirit intercedes for us with groanings (Romans 8:26). That gives me great comfort knowing that He will go to God on my behalf and cry for me.

The next time you feel alone, realize you have the Holy Spirit dwelling inside you if you have accepted Jesus Christ as your Savior. Reach out to Him. Depending upon your translation, John 14:26 calls the Holy Spirit an Advocate, Helper, Comforter or Counselor. Let the Holy Spirit come and cry to God for you. As someone battling bipolar disorder, my Comforter has helped me in my loneliness a multitude of times. He will do the same for you.