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The combination of bipolar disorder and physical illnesse stir up a nasty concoction in me every time. For example, depression and coughing collide while mania and fever slam into each other. Or it could be insomnia butting heads with exhaustion. You know the truth. Bipolar or depression and everything in between are not going to take a vacation when you have laryngitis.
The aftermath from the meeting of the two medical giants will generate lots of money shelled out at the pharmacy and a crick in the neck from sleeping on the couch for too long.
Has this ever happened to you? Yes? Well, you are in good company. I am the Queen of bipolar disorder and physical illness clashes. Based on my experiences, I will give you some suggestions on how I survived the unwelcomed meet-up of the mental and the physical sides.
You can be a Survivor
When I come down with something which rubs against my mental illness symptoms in the wrong way, I usually fight hard against sleeping. I lay awake staring at the ceiling. I flip through the pages of a magazine. I read a book I haven’t touched in months. And of course, I play on my phone.
During this entire time, the psychotropic meds sit defiantly untouched while I lay awake all night. Over the years, I discovered two methods that helped me survive the battle between bipolar disorder and physical illness.
Survivor Skill #1 – Get more sleep
When I feel under the weather, like with a cold, I get so tired that I practically collapse into bed from just laying around doing nothing all day. The truth is we all need sleep! However, not everybody gets the right amount of shut-eye. Below is the most up-to-date sleep data for the United States.
- 50% to 80% of the patients in a regular American psychiatric office are sleep deprived;
- Compare this to the 10% to 18% of adults in the general population who experience sleep deprivation
; and finally - Sleep deprivation costs the US $411 billion annually.
Getting the correct amount of sleep for a mentally and physically well human being, each night is crucial. If you throw in a mental illness as well as the flu into the mix, the stakes go up. A sleep-deprived person (with any type of illness) driving a car is as impaired to get behind the wheel and stomp on the gas as a person who is driving drunk. This is serious stuff!
The bottom line here is to create an environment that will promote healthy sleep. This is what we call good sleep hygiene. It’s important to establish this level of health in order to function properly throughout the day.
Appropriate sleep hygiene means the following:
- Winding down before you get into the bed;
- Having an set bedtime;
- No interruptions during the night;
- Getting enough sleep; and
- Waking up so that you feel rested.
I am still attempting to achieve good consistent sleep hygiene. In the end, sleeping all the hours and minutes my body needs will, at the very least, assist me with decisions.
These decisions could be determined by the following questions: “How many hours of sleep do I need to get?”, or “Should I take my prescribed medications while I am sick with a stomach virus?”
Survivor Skill #2 – Take your psychotropic medicine
Some of us have a tendency to skip our meds whether healthy or sick. I do take my medicine when I am well most of the time. Although when I am physically sick, I often go down kicking and screaming because I do not want to take my regular psychiatric tablets.
Here is what happens: My mind believes that my body’s mental health will carry on if I press pause on taking the remedy for my mental illness symptoms. With each passing hour to each passing day, my mental acuity tends to suffer greatly.
Every day, I experience varying levels of the following: short bouts odepression, psychosis, mania and little to no ability to stay focused to name a few.
If you take the above symptoms and mix them up real good, give the potion an electric shock, then you will have my high alert bipolar symptoms while contending with a fever, mucus, muscle aches, congestion and pains. Then if I stop taking any of my psychotropic medicines please add a triple shot to that espresso.
But the thing is, when I take all of my meds, my depression is more easily handled by usual treatments. The psychosis is still there, but it is back to its old pattern where I can better manage the paranoia and hallucinations. The mania is deflated for now and tucked away in a drawer until another day. And I can focus better than I did when I was not medicated.
Conclusion
I fulfilled my promise to you, my reader. In this blog post, I told you that from my experiences, getting enough sleep and taking my daily meds are the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. These methods are used in order to ease up the time on the sidelines of life as well as the tough symptoms of bipolar and your sinus infection. When I become physically ill while living with a mental illness, it can be a madhouse.
Call to Action
Do you feel a triple dose of your symptoms happening to you whenever you experience mental illness episodes and physical sickness? Please share how you got through that flu, stomach bug, sinus infection or cold. You can either write a comment in the section below or send an email to me at [email protected].
References
References will be given upon individual requests.
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World Bipolar Day 2018
Life Conquering Blog for Mental Health is aligned with WBD’s mission. Life Conquering uses a blog and other social media sites to encourage people with a mental illness and to educate those without in order to tear down stigmas. If you have not stopped by Life Conquering Blog, here is the address: https://lifeconquering.org/.
I encourage all Life Conquering Blog followers as well as frequent visitors to participate in the celebration of World Bipolar Day 2018. You may or may not know someone with bipolar. Take this next week leading up to WBD to brainstorm ideas how you can make someone with bipolar be comfortable in their own skin and feel accepted in their environment. Then again, you might have bipolar. Think of some ways you could thank someone who has stood by your side and show them your appreciation.
World Bipolar Day 2018
Once you brainstorm some ideas, email me at lifeconquering@gmail.com and share with me your thoughts. But don’t just think of something and not do it. Step out of your comfort zone and MAKE A CHANGE FOR GOOD!
Below are some websites and blogs that you can share with your friends, family and co-workers.
References
http://www.worldbipolarday.org/
.
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]]>Step out when you are ready to encourage others with your story. Reach out to safe places such as the local chapter of the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance in your hometown or state. There you can share your journey with mental illness.
12 Bipolar GIF’s
- My moods cannot be controlled as if scheduling them on a calendar.
Oh, how I wish I could control my moods that way! I will never be depressed in the morning or the afternoon or evening. Or when it is raining. Or when my husband goes to work. My racing thoughts would shut up when I go to bed, get a massage or get a shower or bubble bath. I will have just the right amount of mania to help me tackle the cleaning. Or to have it when I am at the grocery store so I can get out of there fast.
You get what you get. Manic, hypomanic or depressed.
Bipolar is a brain disorder, too. I am incapable of stopping or starting the bipolar roller coaster that is going on inside my head. The chemicals in my brain fire or do not fire due to bipolar. I take medicine to help push or pull my brain in the right direction so I can function.
2. This is a pretty good illustration of my bipolar moods every day. 
It is rare that I would go a day without my moods shifting in any direction. As you see in the cell phone GIF, this represents just how quickly my moods can change.
Just recently, I spoke with a woman who has bipolar, too. She was explaining how long she goes between episodes. “Wow! Good for her!” I thought. For me,I have ultradian cycling most of the day or mixed episodes. This basically means my moods change a bunch.
3. This is what it looks like in my mind during a manic episode. I am 
constantly thinking and talking to myself. The ideas are coming in like a meteor shower. I feel alive. Excited. I can climb Mt. Everest by myself. I am signing up for all kinds of opportunities without any time to dedicate to them. Buying all kinds of shoes and purses. And talking to people who I have been avoiding for months.
4. Sometimes, I act out at the grocery store when I am manic-y with rage. It does’t take much. I may be standing in a mile-long line, the person in front of me is not going fast enough, the item I want to purchase is not available or the aisle I want to enter has a shopping cart jam. Sometimes words actually come out. In the state of mood I am in, I do not care it I am heard. And sometimes they are all trapped in my mind, unable to scream out due to prayer. Yes! Prayer. Needless to say, I do a lot of praying while at the grocery. .
5. This is me when my thoughts flow easily and are also coherent and organized when I am writing. They basically make sense, I am creative with boundless energy. I can stay up all night writing. I feel young again. I am a writing scholar. Dreams and delusions flood my mind about the present and the future. 
6. This describes the sum of the various parts of my mind and body when I am in an ultradian cycle. I tend to flip-flop between each pole. The frequency of which the moods change could happen in months, years, weeks, days or hours. I have managed to switch from depression to mania in mere seconds multiple times. Tears falling from my eyes,staining my cheeks. At the same time, I am laughing like I’m mad. It scared the shit out of my husband. Now that says a lot, because he is a real tough guy.
7. This is when I cannot write PERIOD. I cannot form sentences, paragraphs – not to mention thoughts or ideas! This is happening a great deal lately. I started drafts of about six or more blog posts from the beginning of February up until now. NONE of the drafts have been completed and published. Today, I was depressed most of the day and it has taken me all day long to work on a post. It still will not be finished in time to publish. The depression always stunts the growth of the creativity. 
8. When I have a bipolar road rage moment, I sound my horn, loudly and proudly. That is really as far as it goes in the real world. Now I might drive more aggressively to my destination, let the incident stew in my head and even tell my husband with grandeur what happened once he gets home from work. I’m so glad brains are private and horns are loud. 
9. This is me when I am in a mixed episode. During a mixed episode, you experience both mania and depression at the same time. Whenever I am mixed, I cannot make up my mind what I want to do because both poles are tugging at me What I usually do in a mixed state is just sit there and stare into nothing. 
10. This is my psychotic brain everyday. Hallucinations in all five senses. 
Delusions that never go away. Paranoid in my own house and outside my house. I do not like going to bed for fear of what will be done to me. And I had a psychotic break.
11. GIF’s of people who have bipolar. They look just like all the other people around them. They are moms, dads, brothers, sisters, painters, teachers, doctors, chefs, actresses, pastors, secretaries, judges, counselors, you name it.
Carrie Fisher
Bradley Cooper
Delonte West
Ernest Hemmingway
Amy Winehouse
Catherine Zeta-Jones
References
https://giphy.com/explore/bipolar-happiness
https://giphy.com/search/bipolar-road-rage
https://giphy.com/search/bipolar-laptop-rage
https://giphy.com/search/bipolar-psychotic
https://giphy.com/explore/carrie-fisher
https://giphy.com/search/bipolar
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Unmotivated bipolar – what it looks like
It never fails, I get excited about a little project I want to accomplish, then somebody or something throws the brake release and I come to a dead stop. You need to realize that people with this symptom feel horrible. I mean dirt off a tin can in the sewer horrible. The body is encased in concrete from head to toe. It hurts to move. Actually they can’t move in most situations. All I ever want to do is stare at a wall or out the window for hours unending. I want to cry. I want to cut myself. I want to cuss somebody out. I want to hit a punching bag.
Decisions
At this juncture, I can either pick myself off the floor and fight tooth and nail against unmotivated bipolar. Or I can just sit back like the beagle seen here. Chillin’ out and waiting for the sun to rise on the horizon. This too shall pass. I have made both decisions. I had my reasons. But I have chosen to get on the couch and stare more times then I care to admit.
How can you help?
Yes, you can help. I challenge you to be a proactive friend. If your mentally ill co-worker is having motivation issues at work, then try out the following.
- Be a listening ear. The last thing they want is someone yammering in their ear about kids, work, finances, blah-blah-blah. Now I do not mean to paint bipolars as self-centered friends. The truth of the matter, the majority of this world does not know how to talk to an unmotivated bipolar, or to someone with depression, or PTSD, or AD/HD, bipolar, schizophrenia. You catch my drift?
- Do not draw attention to your friend. They are already hurting enough. If they want to do something, go to a quiet dinner or coffee shop or bookstore and enjoy each others company.
- Do not kid with them or scold them for not being productive. Listen, we really do want to be productive. Honestly. The chemicals in our brain are working against us.
- Get a bead on your friend whether or not they want encouragement. Usually, I just want to be left alone.
- Snoopy is correct when he says he is the victim. When your brain chemistry is f*cked up like ours, It is like somebody has come in and flooded my brain with radiator fluid. Just be a friend.
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]]>Bipolar an excuse?
In my research, I was completely shocked at how far the door swung in one particular direction from so-called “fact based” organizations.
- “Mental Illness is not an Excuse to be an Asshole” Psychology Today
- “Stop Equating Mental Illness and Bad Behavior” National Association for Mental Illness Rhode Island
- “Is Mental Illness an Excuse for Bad Behavior?” HealthyPlace
- “Mental Illness or Personality Traits?: The Roots of “Bad” Behavior in Your Partner” PsychCentral
- “When is Mental Illness Just an Excuse for Bad Behavior” Kings River Life
In my experience as a bipolar 1 as well as having friends with or without a known mental illness, each mental illness publication listed here is stigmatizing the mental illness community except HealthyPlace.
The bad
During my travels with bipolar, I have done a whole slew of things that caused pain, embarrassment, loss of integrity and much more. The one manic symptom that I go to is risky behavior. Right smack dab in the middle of the mania, I am on a high like none other. I can seriously sit here and say when I embarked on those risky behaviors, I was not in my right mind.
bipolar an excuse
If you have ever felt depressed, you understand when I say “I was in a deep pit”. “I could not get out of the pit.” “No manner of encouragement of the sincerest interest could get me out.” If you suffer from depression, you have been there when you were unable to speak at work; unable to focus on the dinner party you planned; so full of anxiety that you cannot leave your desk at work even to go to the breakroom
I have had mean thoughts. The voices in my head have told me mean and hurtful things. Somethings I have acted on while others just slipped out my left ear. I have also had inappropriate thoughts and acted on them. The risky behaviors were alluring and I did not mind participating.
The good
I know what you must be thinking. She is just delusional and dead wrong about bipolar behavior. The activities I mentioned are all just bad behavior therefor I must be a bad person.
But what you do not know about me is that those behaviors did not describe me some 25 years ago. If you were to speak to anybody in my past (meaning eight-teen and younger), the people that I saw in school who were just acquaintances I knew back then would be more than surprised. Shocked. Dumbfounded. Disbelieving. Astonished. Stunned. Stupefied. These behaviors did not describe the person I was in middle school and high school.
I believe the only person who knew me back then (at least what I dared to share) was my best friend from elementary school, Beth Patterson.
You see, before the bipolar picked up steam and started to show itself in public, I was quiet and shy. Kept to myself. Didn’t speak much. Almost awkward in my own skin. Felt inadequate. Then the bipolar exploded into my life in my twenties (the good with the bad).
behavior an excuse
- From shy to loud. And I mean very loud. When I laugh, people can hear me in the next county.
- From withdrawn to open. This was my catalyst in me meeting all the men I was eventually with.
- From not talkative to talking a bunch and VERY fast. One time I heard what I sounded like on my husband’s voicemail. I was talking so fast that I was incomprehensible. Sometimes I have no idea I am doing it.
- From awkward to self-assured.
- From inadequate to unstoppable.
grace
So, is bipolar an excuse for bad behavior?
I believe if the person is actively in a bipolar episode and they act out and it is not their regular behavior, then yes. If the person is outside a bipolar episode and is not being affected by previous episodes, then I don’t think so.
The bottom line is, there has to be grace for the bipolar person in order to answer the question “Is bipolar an excuse?” in the affirmative. None of us are perfect. We all have our faults. Bipolar is a mood disorder. However, that makes it sound like child’s play, doesn’t it? It’s not. It is a cobra ready to strike.
References
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/panic-life/201412/mental-illness-is-not-excuse-be-asshole
https://namirhodeisland.org/stop-equating-mental-illness-bad-behavior/
https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/breakingbipolar/2012/07/is-mental-illness-excuse-bad-behavior/
https://blogs.psychcentral.com/wellness/2011/05/mental-illness-or-personality-traits/
http://kingsriverlife.com/10/08/when-is-mental-illness-just-an-excuse-for-bad-behavior/
Going Further
https://lifeconquering.org/bipolar-1-episode/
https://lifeconquering.org/ultra-rapid-cycling-bipolar/
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life’s ups and downs
Life’s ups and down
You never know when life or people or situations will throw you a curve ball. I had a big curve ball that initiated an up and down that left me wondering the uncertainties of my life. Someone or something like a car, house, job or marriage can be there one minute and another minute get swallowed up from the fallout from life’s ups and downs.
I turned the new diagnosis of diabetes of Jake, my Dachshund/Beagle mix up and down into a learning opportunity. I have always been scared of needles since they used to make me very woozy. When I was taught to give Jake his insulin shots, I shocked myself right out of my socks! I had no problem giving him his insulin. At the beginning of his diagnosis, I was of the mindset that James, my husband, needed to learn how to give the shots to Jake, too. Then, I could easily get out of the responsibility.
Subsequently, when Jake got so sick that we thought we were going to lose him twice, I worried I had failed at my attempts to carry out the doctor’s orders. My heart was aching for my little buddy. I was frightened when I saw him lose muscle control in his back legs, fall down and shake almost like having a seizure. I wanted to freak out! At the same time, I wanted to be strong for my Jake. Changing my focus from failure to strength, even in tears, helped me think more clearer in the situation. Jake is getting better with an increase in his insulin. Now we are learning to deal with all the tiny pieces of this canine diabetic puzzle.
mental illness ups and downs
Mental illness ups and downs
Another puzzle I am still attempting to figure out, is my mental health. In the past, I have spoken about the roller coaster rides I have been on concerning my own mental illness. Sometimes, I was not very victorious because I tended to focus on the negative. Hence I rolled over and took a nap on my couch or called James up crying. At the moment, that seemed like the appropriate things to do. While under the pressures of the past two to three weeks, I decided to choose different tactics instead o sleeping and crying. I looked at the situations I was going through square in the face, pulled up my big girl panties, said a prayer and dove in.
One of my changes/promises for this year was to not to give up so easily. When I would give up, I would make all kinds of excuses for myself. I was pathetic. I hated the person I had become. You see, this promise to leave my excuses behind has been extremely difficult. No matter if it were an up or a down I made excuses for everything I did or did not do.
It is easy to make excuses with my bipolar 1 with psychotic features, rapid cycling and mixed episodes because it is challenging to live with. Now, I did fight through a few things and left the the excuses at home. With most things I didn’t even attempt to fight.
I have read in memoirs, on the internet as well as have seen for myself in support groups just how strong a bipolar person like me can be through the ups and downs of my mental health and life. It is a lot of work fighting, yet it is worth every second of it.
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]]>This constant back and forth on the mood spectrum is where you get the rollercoaster ride. I hate it. With my flavor of bipolar, I am prone to the ups and downs of the disorder more frequently than some. That is where ultra-rapid cycling comes in.
Ultra-rapid cycling – depression
For instance a typical day might look like me struggling to get out of bed. Trying to decide if I am going to exercise. If I can just work out for at least 10 minutes, I will count it as a victory. Although, the other day I spent only 5 minutes exercising. Although the time was short, it was much better than going back to sleep on the couch.
Continuing in the depressed side of the bipolar, I will struggle through writing projects during that morning. It is as if my brain is set in concrete. I stare into space. I stare at the computer screen. I cannot focus on any one task. Sometimes I give in and go to sleep.
ultra-rapid cycling bipolar
I look at my calendar and see that I have an appointment that afternoon. Nope. That is getting canceled. It does not matter if it is a therapy session, doctor’s appointment or coffee with a friend, if I am feeling afraid to go out of the house, I won’t. Some days, since I work from home, I never leave the house.
Ultra-rapid cycling – mania
Then in the middle of the afternoon, I will feel like “Wonder Writer” with the advent of a manic high. Ideas will piece together and not be discombobulated. I will be able to edit previous works. And that conclusion on the article I have been working on the last two days finally gets wrapped up.
ultra-rapid cycling bipolar
As the night wears on, I will get spikes in the mania and dips of hypermania. I spend the evening chatting away at 90 mph or I write like there’s no tomorrow.
What will tomorrow bring
I can never really plan for sure what my mood is going to be the next day. What I have realized over the years, is that individual moods do not stay around for very long. One of the reasons I started this Life Conquering ministry to mentally ill individuals is that I want them to know there is someone like me out there who understands what they are going through. My support group is very small and is mainly friends. Friends who know what I am going through from their own experiences. Or friends who are really good at being empathetic and not try to give me prefabricated advice. On some days, it is just me and God.
I also have mixed episodes where you experience both mania and depression at the same time. It is a horrible sensation. Almost as if you are the tug-of-war rope and you are being split in half. I remember when I first realized I was having a mixed episode. It was creepy. Whenever I cannot make up my mind, I know I am probably in a mixed episode. For instance, I need to work on an article for Blasting News. At the same time, I need to write a blog and do some research. I glance at all three and I have no idea which to start with. It takes me some time to figure it out and when I do, I might change it.
I can imagine you guessed the next wonderful mood experience that I have quite often. Yep. I have ultra-rapid cycling episodes occurring at the same time as a mixed episodes. Can you image how that might feel?
Suicide Prevention Lifeline
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is an United States-based suicide prevention network of 161 crisis centers that provides a 24/7, toll-free hotline available to anyone in suicidal crisis or emotional distress.Wikipedia
Call 1-800-273-8255
Available 24 hours everyday
References
I have shared with you some websites that might be of interest to you on this subject.
https://natashatracy.com/bipolar-disorder/dealing-rapid-cycling-bipolar-moods-everyday-life/
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/8833685
Bipolar Disorder Symptoms – Are You Missing the Subtle Signs?
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Hugs,
Amy
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The post Bipolar Writer MIA Again appeared first on Life Conquering Blog.
]]>I apologize that it has been so long since I posted on my blog for bipolar and other mental illnesses. My time has been divided between bipolar episodes and writing.
I have to say it up front, I will continue to have periods of no contact with the blog. I have bipolar 1 which is a huge cycle. And now have new writing assignments that wake me up in the middle of the night or keep me up late.
Cycles of Symptoms
My bipolar cycle shuts down any and all writing. The cycles are mainly monthly. It is almost like “Groundhog Day” with Bill Murray starring in it as a pompous meteorologist. Just like Bill Murray experiencing the same day over and over again, I experience the same symptoms every month at the same time.
I have mood swings every day where I hang out on the manic side of the spectrum. There are certain periods during the month that I am a bitch. Plain and simple. Rage rises up within me and I am like a volcano waiting to explode. It takes praying to God to keep me from going off the deep end. Without Him by my side, there would be holes in the walls, a wrecked SUV, a broken marriage and me in jail.
bipolar rage
My hallucinations cycle through every month as well. I had a hallucination that woke me up the other night. Voices from a large group bled through our neighbor’s wall into my bedroom.
New Writing Assignments
Over the past couple months, I have been invited to be a guest blogger or simply write articles. I have been hired by Blasting News! I did not write about mental health. Nope! I wrote a 2,000 word review on DWTS. It was a great exercise in researching and writing for a different audience. The assignment really stretched me as a writer.
I am also preparing a piece for Psych Central. They have a blog site as well as a library on-line. My plan is that I will send material for both.
Prayer
I need prayers for this next blog called Healthy Place. Friday, I submitted my third article. The first two were rejected. Please pray that the decision makers will see the potential in my writing and the impact it would make on their readers. Thanks!
Now those three above are paid websites. I have a number of nonpaying websites that I am submitting to also. And there are many more paying websites and magazines to write for.
Mental Illness Conference in D.C.
I applied to be a conference speaker at a mental illness conference summer 2018. Pray for God’s will.
Thank you for your patience,
Amy
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]]>With the complexities of bipolar disorder symptoms,they are often difficult for doctors to identify and understand. I was not diagnosed bipolar until I was 30 years old.
The National Institute of Health determined 2.6% of the adults in the USA live with bipolar disorder symptoms. However, the sobering thought is that the number is actually higher. Bipolar 1 disorder alone is often misdiagnosed or overlooked.
“Oh, I was only tired.”
Many diagnosed bipolars cover up what truly is going on:
1 because they are scared about what is going on with their bodies;
2. afraid what their friends will say about them;
3. unable to adapt to this new way of life; and
4. they do not want to take their medications.
I lived for such a long time hiding what was going on inside me from the people around me. I am learning it is important to talk about the struggles of bipolar disorder. However, you need to find the right people to share this piece of your life with: your therapist, psychiatrist, psychologist, someone from church, support group, family member or friend. I sure miss my support group.
Bipolar disorder symptoms are often misconstrued as chronic depression, anxiety or possibly moodiness. Saying trouble at work or tiredness is often a common complaint for a person hiding their bipolar symptoms.
Questions You should ask the Questionable Bipolar Person in Your Life
- Are your moods very extreme and generally pivot between high and low?
- Do you experience extreme exuberance along with episodes of depression?
- During these depressive states, do you experience significant trouble with your appetite, energy and sleep?
- Do you find it challenging to complete tasks and have a slew of half-complete projects in your life?
Comments
This information only scratches the surface in regards to subtle signs of bipolar. It also looks different in teenagers. Of course you may use the comments section below or my email address below to send questions, comments and short summaries on your own personal situations. I would LOVE to hear from you. [email protected]
Going Further
http://www.webmd.com/bipolar-disorder/guide/bipolar-disorder-warning-signs#1
http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/bipolar-disorder/symptoms-causes/dxc-20307970
https://lifeconquering.org/bipolar-roller-coaster/
https://lifeconquering.org/mania-depression/
https://lifeconquering.org/bipolar-disorder-symptoms/
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