Stumble?  Yeah, I have done that too many times to count.  I even have the war wounds to prove that I am a stumbler.  My bipolar has been a huge source of my stumbling over the years.  But what I am learning recently is that those stumbles have impacted my life in so many positive ways.  My relationship with Jesus has grown.  I have gained more insight into myself and others.  The harsh judgmental me is slowly fading away.  And those are just the tip of the iceberg.

Redeeming the Stumble

What my stumbling has also taught me is God can redeem the times when I falter as well as the times I fall flat on my face.  When I am on my face, God graciously picks me up, sets me on my feet and I dance.

The Dance

The dancing serves many purposes.  First of all it is a way of showing my gratitude to God for his love, mercy and grace.  Second of all, my dance becomes a testimony to other people of God’s love and grace and mercy that He offers to them without hesitation.  I dance when I have coffee with a friend.  I dance at my support group. I dance at work.  I want to dance even more.

Are you dancing?  What are you doing with your stumbles?  Do you even admit you stumble?  Are you willing to let your divorce, your termination from your job, your broken relationships turn from a stumble to a dance?

Email Me

I would love to hear your story about how you turned your stumbling into dancing.  Email me at [email protected]

Going Further

http://biblehub.com/library/watson/a_body_of_divinity/9_the_mercy_of_god.htm

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grace_in_Christianity

http://biblehub.com/1_corinthians/15-10.htm

The post Stumble and Dance, It is all the Same appeared first on Life Conquering Bipolar Blog.

This fact is so comforting to me since in my brain I am constantly walking on shifting sand. The rapid cycling goes on and on.  When will it end?

The constant changing is so tiring.  SO, I hold on to Him, my ROCK for dear life.

The post My Rock appeared first on Life Conquering Bipolar Blog.

Even though there are countless promises of God, many of us do not have fond memories of this place called earth. A painful childhood, a rough start as an adult or a string of failures litter the past. Then there are people like me who have different challenges like bipolar, depression, epilepsy, cancer, arthritis and diabetes or weight issues.

The Promises of God

It can be difficult at times to keep your head up when you are constantly battling various struggles promises of God or not. But I have a promise from Jesus. “Let not your heart be troubled. I go to prepare a place for you.” I hear that in this place, there are no more tears! That wipes out that entire list above in one touch of the delete key.

Trust

Presently, I have shared that I am in a manic episode. I need less sleep then normal, I have risky behavior, my creativity is at an all-time high, I have inappropriate thoughts and I’m extremely irritable. Other than the irritability, I am enjoying the ride especially since I have been in a depressive state for so long. Needless to say, it is a welcomed change. But, I am scared to death of what will come after the carnival ride and all the circus peanuts and cotton candy. I have been there before. The landing coming in from a high sucks. You just hit the ground and hope you remember to tuck and roll. At these times, the promises of God fly out the window with the parachute.

The one thing that gets me through these drastic ups and downs in my mood that leave me exhausted and suicidal, are the promises of God. From the beginning of the Bible, God never defaulted on any of His promises. He followed through on everything He said. Why would this one promise be any different?

One of the promises of God is to have a new body. I cannot wait to get to heaven and have a clear mind.  No voices talking to each other, no music (I will miss that), no rapid thoughts running into each other and no more tears.

What do you have to hope for?

http://www.365promises.com/

https://www.intouch.org/read/claiming-gods-promises

https://www.biblegateway.com/resources/dictionary-of-bible-themes/5467-promises-divine

The post Promises of God appeared first on Life Conquering Bipolar Blog.

For the past nine years, I focused really hard on my bipolar symptoms. Instead of pushing through and making a choice that would benefit me in the long run, I would focus on my bipolar mood and feelings and let them control the situation. If I had all these nine years to do over again, there are many decisions that would have been made differently.

Let me give you an example to help you understand what I mean. I may have plans with a friend on Friday night. I had a lousy week at work, it is raining outside and I am feeling somewhat depressed. I call her up and cancel because I chose to drop my head between my shoulders and wallow in my mood and feelings. I decide my mood and feelings will win out since they are yelling the loudest.

Go with me instead of canceling the dinner with my friend to making a decision to meet her. We eat some great food. The service is excellent. We enjoy each other’s company. I get to unload on my friend about the lousy week I had at work and I talked through why I felt depressed. What a big pick-me-up! That was much better than lying on the couch staring out the window and letting my icky feelings continue to keep building up.

I have so many instances in my past where I wish I prayed about the decision instead of going down the easy path to wallow in my cave of bipolar fear, anxiety, loneliness, inadequacy, unacceptance, weirdness, etc.

Here’s another example: I am feeling bored and lonely which will lead to depression if I am not careful. These two feelings always make me want to eat to fill a false sense of comfort. I raid my purse for change to use in the vending machines. I scan the cupboards at home for chocolate.

Bipolar Comfort

What I know I need is stimulation for my mind and the chance to feel loved and accepted. Like thousands upon thousands of times before, I chose the comfort of food over the comfort and companionship of God or someone else that God might bring into my path.

Options to the Bipolar Control

What I have learned along the way when I am wanting to choose my bipolar, anxiety or my loneliness over the fulfillment of God’s blessings, I try the following:

1. Praying to God
2. Meditating
3. Self-hypnosis
4. Taking a walk outside
5. Talking to somebody who will encourage you
6. Texting somebody who will encourage you
7. Watch uplifting YouTube videos
8. Read an uplifting book
9. Read an uplifting magazine
10. Surf the Internet for uplifting information

Now, you may think I am oversimplifying the food disorder disease. I know I am not. Why? Because I have an eating disorder too, called overeating. I have struggled with it for all my life and will continue to struggle. A list like this helps me because I am able to stay grounded and focused on the things that matter most and the One who can give me perfect love.

God is in Control

There is a reason why praying to God is number one on this list. Since I have my head screwed on more tightly, I know through experience that when I pray, God has been there to help me with food cravings and a growling stomach. I no longer eat a midafternoon snack like I used to. God has replaced that need for comfort with a sense of accomplishment when I am at my job.

Trust God to get you through whatever the situation whether it is a mental illness like bipolar, or it is cancer, MS, or lupus. Feelings, moods and ingrained beliefs are difficult to fight against. I am not saying that making the decision for God is easy. Focusing on your feelings and moods does sound a lot easier to manage. But you cannot fight them alone. You need God. Call on Him!

If you think you or someone you love has bipolar symptoms, please see a doctor.  Visit the websites below for more information on bipolar disorder.

http://www.dbsalliance.org/site/PageServer?pagename=home

https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/bipolar-disorder/index.shtml

http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/bipolar-disorder/basics/symptoms/con-20027544

http://www.webmd.com/bipolar-disorder/guide/bipolar-disorder-warning-signs

The post Bipolar Symptoms appeared first on Life Conquering Bipolar Blog.

At the end of the work day, as you can imagine, I feel exhausted from all the mental and physical effort that I put into it. My job is important to me; I cannot screw up so all my energy is poured out between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. That allows barely enough strength left for me, my husband, my dogs and our house, not to mention God and friends and family or writing.

Isaiah 40:28-31

I was reading a devotional the other day and the key section of scripture was from Isaiah 40:28-31:

Do you not know?

Have you not heard?

The Lord is the everlasting God,

the Creator of the ends of the earth.

He will not grow tired or weary,

and his understanding no one can fathom.

He gives strength to the weary

and increases the power of the weak.

Even youths grow tired and weary,

and young men stumble and fall;

but those who hope in the Lord

will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;

they will run and not grow weary,

they will walk and not be faint.

These verses were like warm sunshine on a winter day in the Arctic for me. I was familiar with this section in Isaiah, yes. But…I never let it sink in and become applicable to me and my life. So, I paused. I had to. God wanted to tell me something.  I knew the strength I needed to come from a Supernatural Source.

Have I felt weary? Yes! Just about every day when I came home from work. Did I feel tired? Yes! I felt exhausted every night — couldn’t barely keep my eyes open.  Strength, what strength?

God is never weary or tired. He will give strength and power to ME to face my situation! So, when I am feeling exhausted and tired and weak and powerless and drained, I just look to Him with hope.

When my depression has me struggling to walk through cement all day, I hope in God and I will soar high above the exhaustion, tiredness, weakness, powerlessness and draining feeling.

When the manic episodes have me unable to focus on my work tasks, my hope in God will help me run and not grow weary – giving me strength to keep the mania from getting  out of handing..

All day rapid cycling is no match to God. He will help me walk and not be faint.

I have bipolar I, therefore I am going to have depression and mania. The type of bipolar I have is both rapid cycling and mixed episodes. That will not change. Until they find a cure for bipolar, I will constantly battle with this day-in and day-out. Even still, I have the chance to soar every day.

The one thing that is constant is our Heavenly Father. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. I know that come Monday morning, I will wake up to the usual symptoms, go to work and start the “dance of the poles” all over again. But I know Who is in charge. And I believe Isaiah 40. I may have had a stressful day, but in the end, I am soaring, walking and not fainting.  My God’s strength is tireless.

The post Strength appeared first on Life Conquering Bipolar Blog.

When I was diagnosed with bipolar, I knew nothing about the mental illness. I did not receive an instruction manual from the psychiatrist to help me with every detour along the way. Over the years, I have had to make difficult decisions about my treatment. Some of these decisions did not come easy.

I learned that there was Somebody who could help me make those decisions when I was in need of wisdom and discernment. When you are faced with an issue that needs an answer or a decision and you do not know how to respond, what do you rely on as your instruction manual? Do you go to Oprah or Dr. Phil? What about Jack Daniels? We need Someone who wrote The instruction manual of all time.

We were not designed to face our problems alone. God in Heaven wants us to bring all our concerns to Him because He cares for us (1 Peter 5:7). When the rent is due and you do not have any money in the bank account to cover it, when you get a less than favorable report from the doctor or when you find out your teenager is bullying another student on the bus – that is the stuff of life God wants to hear about.

The Bible teaches, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in prayer and supplication present your requests to God and the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will be yours in Christ Jesus (Philipians 4:6-7). Give it over to God. Once you do, you can experience not just any type of peace or the peace that the world is handing out, but God’s peace.

I have heard it said that he Bible is the instruction manual for Christians. The Bible is also a love letter to you from God. He inspired the writing of the contents of the Bible. You can learn from the Bible ways to handle the difficult situations in your life as well as learn how much God loves you. Since you did not come with an instruction manual at birth, try using the Bible to face life head on.

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Don’t get me wrong, I want the fastest and the smartest gadgets out there, too. I want to be entertained by Hollywood. However, to describe our technology as “awesome” or “amazing” is to me, a misuse of these words.   “Awesome” and “amazing” were used at one time to describe God and His attributes alone. In a subtle way, these words are describing things that are taking the place of God.

The Bible has plenty of wow-factors that point to God’s awesome power: God parting the Red Sea; God saving Daniel from the lions’ hungry mouths; God preserving Jonah inside the belly of a big fish; the virgin birth; and Jesus rising from the dead.

What about you? I bet you have some wow-factors you can list as well that demonstrates God’s awesome power in your life. A successful job interview which led to a job; a good report from the doctor; a healthy pregnancy; a paycheck that stretched and covered your needs; or someone’s unexpected kindness.

I know I have seen God’s awesome power demonstrated in my own life that displayed His amazing love for me. He rescued me from the pit of sin and destruction; gave me a new life; blessed me with a loving husband; answered countless prayers; and walked beside me through the storms as well as the sunny days.

The next time you are tempted to say “that ___________ is awesome”, think about God being the One and only true Awesome reality.

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