Changing Adventures

When I left my teaching career due to my mental illness, I had no idea what was going to happen next. I did some research over the summer on careers and that fall I was enrolling in a paralegal studies program at the University of Louisville. It seemed ironic that I went from a Masters in K-12 Administration to an Associate’s degree in paralegal studies. I wondered how the adventures of a Master’s degree would compare to an Associates. I soon found out just how much of an adventure I would be on as a result of my career switch.

A Bump in the Road

When I began classes that fall, my body was riddled with anxiety. Every night on the way to class, with a white-knuckle grip, I would drive to campus full of fear. I prayed a lot during that time. I prayed for the anxiety to melt away. Sometimes God chose to take away the anxiety. Sometimes he would hold my hand while my stomach twisted and turned.

I had generalized anxiety disorder, so anything would set off my anxiety: driving at night, talking to other students, answering questions in class, asking questions in class and talking with my lawyer-professors. My husband and I were in a near fatal car accident which was a big trigger for the fear and anxiety I experienced during this time. It was very difficult for me to get behind the wheel and drive a few minutes to the grocery store or a few miles on the interstates.

The adventure was not shaking out to be as fun and exciting as I thought it would be. Over the next two years of my paralegal studies, God showed me just how much of an adventure I could have with Him.

A Simple Prayer Request

I kept praying about the anxiety particularly while driving. God was always there for me to ride out the anxiety and comfort me. Half-way through my studies, I signed up for a Bible study on prayer. One night at the beginning of the prayer study, the leader asked us to put a prayer request on an index card. The leadership team was going to collect the index cards and pray over the requests through the duration of the Bible study. I hesitated at first to write anything and then I wrote “I have bipolar and also a lot of anxiety. I was recently in a near-fatal car accident. Fear and anxiety make it extremely difficult to drive. I am a prisoner in my own car.”

I did not add my name to the index card. I left if on the table and I walked out of the room putting the entire experience out of my mind.

Over the next few weeks, I noticed something amazing — my anxiety while driving my car was gone! No longer did I shrink in fear approaching an entrance or exit ramp. I could drive the speed limit again instead of driving below it. I could even change lanes!

When I saw the decline in my anxiety, I knew what happened: the prayer request was answered. Adding the leadership team from that prayer study lifted up more voices to our God on my behalf. I always believed in the power of prayer and had seen prayers answered all my life. I just never thought the anxiety would lose its grip on me.

Losing my anxiety and fear of driving was a huge thing in my life. I was becoming a shell of myself under the weight and pressure of the anxiety. Now, I still get anxious from time to time. Currently, I am getting anxious going to work. I know that prayer helps and prayer gets me closer to the Creator God. I know I will continue on this adventure with God at my side.

Email Me

Do you have an adventure story to share? I would love to hear about it. Email me at mailto:[email protected].

Going Further

https://www.adaa.org/understanding-anxiety/generalized-anxiety-disorder-gad

https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/anxiety-disorders/index.shtml

http://www.webmd.com/anxiety-panic/guide/generalized-anxiety-disorder

The post “Adventure is worthwhile.” — Amelia Earhart appeared first on Life Conquering Bipolar Blog.

Anxiety and Depression

Over the years, my mental illness has weakened my backbone.  Mainly anxiety and depression has chipped away at it.  I said “no” to many opportunities because of the crushing anxiety and depression that overcame me.  And I quit activities and groups more times than I can count.  With the anxiety and fear gnawing away at my backbone, my life became one wish after another.

Wishes

These wishes erroded my backbone and it was replaced with a wishbone.  I have wished to myself thoughts muliple times over the years.  I wish I wasn’t so anxious.  I wish I wasn’t so depressed.  I wish I was manic so I could have the energy to do stuff.  I wish I was left alone at work.  I wish I was younger.  I wish I did not waste so much time in my younger years.  I wish I did not screw up so much.

Growing a Wishbone

All these wishes over the years have given me a wishbone to replace my backbone.  There was a time when the wishbone did not even exist.  I was not afraid to do new things; not afraid to meet new people and talk with people; not afraid of living.  I was energetic, confident, a people person, willing to try new things and was more of an extrovert.

Trading in my Wishbone

I want to get back to my old self.  I still have the bipolar, but I do not want to give up so easily on life like I used to.  I am actually in the process of trading in my wishbone for a backbone.  At the present time, I am joining activities where I wil be in the position of meeting new people and experiencing personal growth.

Email Me

Send me an email at mailto:[email protected] if you have a wishbone/backbone story.

Going Further

https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/depression/index.shtml

https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/anxiety-disorders/index.shtml

The post Do You have a Backbone or a Wishbone? appeared first on Life Conquering Bipolar Blog.

We have had our ups and downs like all friendships. But I have been able to share the junk that comes along with a bipolar diagnosis without her judging me, criticizing me, making me feel like a child, ignoring what I say or even forgetting what I said. She is a dear, sweet friend that I hope I will have the privilege of cherishing for a long time. I have a lot to learn from her about life and love and friendship. I just hope I can be a good student.

If you remember two weeks ago, or if you weren’t here two weeks ago, look back on October 13, 2016, I had suicidal ideations. That day I reached out to my psychologist and my sweet, sweet friend of whom I have been writing about. Even though she was at work, stressed and over-worked, she took time out to text me and read my crazy texts. I am forever grateful for her presence in my life that day.

If you do not have a friend with whom will walk you through the valley of depression and into the bowels of suicide ideation, I encourage you to begin looking for one. It can be an old high school friend, girlfriend or boyfriend, spouse, parent, sibling, other family member, co-worker, someone you met at the gym, someone from church or just a friend.

If you are not already attending a support group, I would encourage you to go. Whenever my social anxiety allows me to go to group, I feel much better after attending. I learn so much from the many diverse people there. We are all the same, yet so very different it is beautiful.

If you have difficulty getting out of your comfort zone because of anxiety or negative thoughts, try the following. I have used them and they have helped me.

1. Deep controlled breathing. This helps me to focus on the breathing instead of my racing negative thoughts or frazzled nerves.
2. Self-hypnosis. This does the same thing as the breathing except, it takes you to another place.
3. Meditate. You can meditate on words, phrases, quotes, scripture or music lyrics. Sometimes I meditate on the music itself. I listen to a lot of classical music. I feel like I am floating on the notes in the air. Plus it brings back wonderful memories of a time when I was a musician.
4. Pray. I use prayer a lot. I do not believe you have to have a Ph.D. in Divinity to pray to God. I simply speak to him what is on my mind. “I need a friend. Help me get past my comfort zone.”

If you do not have a friend who will walk to hell and back with you, get out of your comfort zone and go look for one. It is so critical for your life! I doubt Santa Claus is going to stuff a friend in your stocking this Christmas.

Below are some websites to further help you in your quest.

http://www.dbsalliance.org/site/PageServer?pagename=wellness_support_groups

http://www.dbsalliance.org/site/PageServer?pagename=peer_chapters_support_groups

http://www.webmd.com/anxiety-panic/guide/mental-health-social-anxiety-disorder

http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/

The post A Good Friend is the Right Medicine appeared first on Life Conquering Bipolar Blog.

Real-life worries does not mean you have GAD. For instance if you just lost your job and you worry about money. That is realistic and a real-life problem. But if you constantly worry about money and you are a billionaire, you might have GAD.

If your anxiety has shown up almost every day for the last six months, you may have Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Maybe you try to stop yourself from worrying but you can’t. There are also these symptoms:

• You feel restless, often irritable, on edge, fidgety or keyed up;
• You get tired easily;
• Your muscles feel tense, especially in your back, neck or shoulders; and
• You have difficulty concentrating, falling asleep or staying asleep.

Remember, not everyone experiences the same symptoms. Some people may feel twitching, trembling, shortness of breath, sweating, dry mouth, upset stomach, feeling shaky and being easily startled. The important thing to remember is to go to your primary care physician or your psychiatrist if you are a mental health patient. I am not a doctor or nurse and do not hold myself out there to be one. If you feel that you have these symptoms, you need to get professional help.

I was diagnosed with GAD shortly after I was diagnosed with bipolar. At the time of the diagnosis, my anxiety was off the charts. I was ending one career, teaching and marching into another one which was extremely foreign to me. Teaching had me anxious all the time to the point I could barely function. Studying for my new career as a paralegal was hardly different. That was nearly seven years ago. My anxiety is still here to cause me to shut down and doubt myself.

What I do to get through the anxiety is to pray. Pray hard. God will answer my prayer generally one of two ways: 1) take the anxiety away or 2) hold my hand or carry me through the anxiety storm. It is not an elaborate prayer. Just “Lord, help me though this anxiety.” Or “Take this anxiety away, Jesus.”

Here is some more information on Generalized Anxiety Disorder.

https://www.adaa.org/understanding-anxiety/generalized-anxiety-disorder-gad

http://www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/generalized-anxiety-disorder-gad.htm

http://www.webmd.com/anxiety-panic/guide/generalized-anxiety-disorder

http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/generalized-anxiety-disorder/basics/definition/con-20024562

The post Generalized Anxiety Disorder appeared first on Life Conquering Bipolar Blog.

Kim has used square breathing as one of her stress relievers. With all of the responsibilities she has: getting the kids out the door for school, getting herself ready for work, walking the dog, soccer practice, PTA meetings, ballet lessons, date night, laundry…. It all just piles up. Using the square breathing technique is something simple and grounds her in reality.

Square Breathing

1. In your surroundings, find something square. A TV, a coffee table, a door, a fence, a billboard, sidewalk, etc.
2. Start your eyes at the top left corner of your square and move horizontally to the right while inhaling.
3. Make sure your movements are slow along with your breath.
4. Once you are at the upper right corner, move your eyes down while exhaling.
5. Breathe in from bottom corner right to left.
6. Next breathe out from the bottom left to top right.
7. Continue doing this exercise, slowing down your breath.
8. You can repeat several rounds or two-five minutes.
9. You can start it over again if you feel the stress is coming back.
10. You can even move your eyes in the opposite direction.

I really like this technique especially for work. Although I love my job, the job itself is extremely stressful. I can easily do square breathing because I have a monitor directly in front of me. Now I can begin square breathing without anyone knowing. My mind gets so focused on the breathing and eye movement that there is no space for the anxious thoughts. Love it!

If you use this technique to bring you peace and calm during a stressful situation, email me at [email protected] or send me a message on Facebook or Twitter and let me know your experience with this one of many stress relievers.

Reference

Relieve Stress – 20 Quick Techniques by Katrin Schubert, M.D.

Here are some websites you can go to for more ideas for stress relievers.

http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/stress-relievers/art-20047257

http://www.webmd.com/balance/guide/blissing-out-10-relaxation-techniques-reduce-stress-spot

The post Stress Relievers – Square Breathing appeared first on Life Conquering Bipolar Blog.

Today I met someone who has bipolar like me. We had an immediate connection as if we had known each other all our lives. It did not take us long to become bipolar friends.  With our time together, we shared our war stories and flashed our scars like old war veterans. It was very refreshing and enlightening to find a bipolar friend, like me, who struggles with a mental illness day in and day out.

With my bipolar friend’s wisdom of living many years with the ups and downs of life and bipolar in the mix, she shared some advice that I will remember for a long time. She asked me if I ever raged at my husband. I said “no”. My new friend went on to tell me from her own experiences what has happened with the people she loved when she raged. I told her I saw a lot of rage at a young age and I do not want to repeat that behavior.

I am glad that I am getting bolder about my mental illness. This bipolar friend would not have developed if I had not revealed my mental illness to her. We were getting to know each other better and the topic of vocations came up. I told her I worked for an attorney, but I wasn’t always in the legal arena. I simply said after eight years of teaching middle school, the bipolar was making it incredibly difficult to function as a teacher (it was painfully hard to create lesson plans, I had social anxiety and being around other people smothered me) also I could no longer handle the stress that came with the job like homework comes with a math class. With my revelation, she opened up and said she has bipolar.  Maybe things would have been easier if I had a bipolar friend.

Friends Naturally

For those of you who don’t get it, it is as if a UK fan meets another fanatic…ur, um…UK fan and they hit it off because they have something in common. Likewise two ladies who are friends over shoes and handbags (I see a lot of that at the office). It feels good to talk with someone who knows something about you. It is as if you have been friends your whole life.

Social Anxiety

You may be wondering why this is such a big deal to me. Well, telling somebody outside of work that I have bipolar is not all that scary. It is the telling somebody anything that IS scary. My social anxiety keeps my mouth closed many times. My social anxiety keeps my head down too many times to count. My social anxiety keeps me in the shadows where it is safe.

I am so glad this situation happened and I found a friend. This will give me strength and bravery to fight against the social anxiety and reach out to other people again and again. If you battle with social anxiety, too — you can break the chains that hold you back, one step at a time.

Here are some links to information on social anxiety.

http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/

http://www.webmd.com/anxiety-panic/guide/mental-health-social-anxiety-disorder

https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/social-phobia-social-anxiety-disorder-always-embarrassed/index.shtml

http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/social-anxiety-disorder/basics/symptoms/con-20032524

http://www.dbsalliance.org/site/PageServer?pagename=home

The post Bipolar Friends appeared first on Life Conquering Bipolar Blog.

Psychiatrists and psychologists have compiled a list of seven major categories of anxiety disorders.

• Generalized anxiety disorder (GAD)
• Social phobia
• Panic disorder
• Agoraphobia
• Specific phobias
• Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
• Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)

A diagnosis is not needed to feel that you are having trouble with anxiety. You may have the anxiety, but you may not have enough symptoms to have an official diagnosis. However for you to have a proper diagnosis, you need a mental health professional to evaluate you and tell you what type of anxiety you have. Other disorders can look similar.

We will look at all seven types of anxiety here at http://lifeconquering.org/. Be sure to come back to Life Conquering Blog to learn more.

The post The Seven Types of Anxiety appeared first on Life Conquering Bipolar Blog.

The occasional use and moderate consumption of alcohol can smooth over any jitters you may have. However, these benefits are overshadowed by the downsides of alcohol’s effects on someone with anxiety.

The Effects of Alcohol and Anxiety

1.      Alcohol does a good job at impairing memory, balance, judgment as well as analytical thinking. These impairments can leave one feeling vulnerable and anxious.

2.      While drinking, one may feel calm. But the next morning, a tsunami of panic washes over concerning the evening’s indulgences and what might have happened.

3.      If one should use alcohol on a regular basis, it can lead to a deep sense of sadness and in some cases panic attacks.

4.      Anxiety becomes part of the addiction cycle. The person does not want to feel the anxiety, so they keep drinking.

Reference: Helgoe, Laurie PhD, et al. The Anxiety Answer Book pg. 18.

Here are some links below to help you overcome your alcohol and anxiety problems.

http://www.dbsalliance.org/site/PageServer?pagename=education_anxiety_cause

http://www.dbsalliance.org/site/PageServer?pagename=education_brochures_dual_diagnosis

http://www.healthline.com/health/alcohol-and-anxiety

http://alcoholrehab.com/alcoholism/alcohol-induced-anxiety/

The post Alcohol and Anxiety appeared first on Life Conquering Bipolar Blog.