That’s Life so Seize the Day!

that's life
so seize the day!

Ever since December 2019, my health has been “kinda” out of sorts, but that’s life.  Right?  You know, you get the flu and you keep on going? Laundry needs to be washed and dried. The kids need to go to basketball practice. And that doesn’t even consider the work you left behind at your desk last Friday.

When my mental or physical health suffers, I try so hard to keep up with my writing. I believe I have a responsibility to my readers to keep them informed about mental health. However, I don’t always make right this unwritten contract I have with you. This time around, I have not kept up the Life Conquering Blog or social media since there has been one medical issue after another.  Believe me, I’m ready for 2021!

that’s life

This blog post will give an explanation as to why I have been silent for the last two-and-a-half months.  During that time, I did begin several posts yet, I could never find the motivation to finish them.  That’s life for a bipolar person every day sick or not.

While all of these health issues were going on, I was also battling depression and anxiety which made healing all the more difficult. 

It’s a female thing

With situations like this, there is always a beginning. Last year, my gynecologist decided I had suffered long enough with on-again/off-again heavy periods and bad cramps that I have had all my life.  Together, we decided on a D&C and a uterine ablation to hopefully fix the situation.  The D&C is where the lining of the uterus is scraped.  The uterine ablation is the burning away of the uterine lining.

seize the day

At first, I didn’t have any problems with that surgery.  The “problem” came on a report from pathology a couple of weeks after the surgery.  The pathologist discovered I have pre-cancerous cells growing inside of my uterus. My gyno told me that if we did nothing about the precancer cells, those cells will probably become cancer cells. Subsequently, I was placed on anti-cancer medicine until the next step. 

Sometime in the not-so-distant future, the next step for me is to have a hysterectomy.  Upon having this surgery, it will be the third operation since December 2019.

Breathing in the same air

At the end of December ’19 and the beginning of January 2020, my husband got sick and I followed suit about a week later.  I had some allergy/sinus thing going on and James had bronchitis.  The doctor at the immediate care clinic prescribed a lot of medicine for me.  This was a good thing since my next surgery was set to take place in about 20 days.  I knew I needed to be healthy in order to be cleared for surgery.

that’s life

Parathyroid Surgery

I knew upfront the surgery would be exploratory in nature.  All the ultrasounds and MRI’s I took the month prior to find the individual locations of the parathyroids came up with nothing.

that’s life

In the average body, there are four parathyroids the size of a grain of rice that sit behind the butterfly-shaped thyroid which most people are familiar with.  The parathyroids control the amount of calcium and Vitamin D in our bloodstream.  When these little guys act out, it can throw the body’s calcium supply off balance.  Due to my situation, I was at a huge risk for osteoporosis among other issues. 

The surgeon was able to find three parathyroids.  Each had grown to twice their size or more.

I feel so horrible for what my husband went through that day and the next.

ICU Nurses Suck, I should know

this is NOT life

The situation in surgery went from green to red real quick.  My time under the knife kept increasing as the surgeon was having difficulty locating all four parathyroids. In the course of time, somehow one of my lungs was punctured and eventually collapsed.  A surgical staff member had to “breathe” for me by using a balloon-shaped hand apparatus to pump air into my lungs. This was to hopefully keep the hole from getting any bigger or causing the lung to collapse again.

Based on the situation during surgery, the on-call pulmonologist suggested that I stay the night in ICU so they could continue to keep an eye on my lung.  

In all honesty, being in a hospital sucks

While I was there, the ICU was very light on patients and very high on nurses.  The pulmonologist gave orders to the nurses of ICU to get me to walk, breathe deeply, and work on my air capacity in my lungs.  The only orders the nurses sort of carried out was to walk me to and from a port-a-pot next to my bed. 

In all honesty, it would have been difficult for me to take care of such personal matters since I was hooked up to about ten different machines.  The bottom line, the nurses were not overwhelmed by multiple sick patients in the ICU over the course of about 24 hours I was there on the floor. They had time to check on my breathing and help me walk. I was really disappointed in their lack of due diligence. If they only knew I was a medical malpractice paralegal for seven years.

this is NOT life

I was finally released the next day around 5 o’clock that afternoon.  I couldn’t get out of that hospital fast enough!  The unit was so dysfunctional that I did not receive my discharge orders before I was whisked away in a wheelchair. 

I NEVER want to be in a hospital again!

I’m sick – yet again. And that’s life.

At the beginning of February 2020, James got sick and then passed it on to me.  After about a week on OTC meds, I went to the immediate care center. The doctor who examined me diagnosed me with a sinus infection and bronchitis.  I understand this can last 4-6 weeks – the cough even longer. My ribs hurt from coughing so much and so hard.

that’s life but seize the day

Carpe Diem!

I wanted to reach out to my Life Conquerers to let them know I am not dead or hiking the Appalachian Trail with crappy internet service.  LOL!

I was really looking forward to 2020.  Nowhere in my wildest dreams did I think I would have these types of medical challenges one right after another. And I still have a hysterectomy to schedule.

seize the day

One of the things I have learned during this time is to live by the old adage, carpe diem.  Seize the day!  Seize my life!  I spent so much time since being diagnosed with a mental illness saying “I will do this/start that tomorrow.”  And inevitably, I would just sit, wringing my hands together anxiously, and blaming the mental illness.   Like this blog post.  I put it off multiple times.  The tall and short of it is when I am sick, I often do not have the energy or concentration to write. 

No more!

I want to turn that around. For instance, I contemplated going to Meijer to pick up some ingredients for a new recipe I wanted to try out on James. Right on cue, I began feeling anxious about going. Social anxiety. Generalized anxiety (meaning anxious regarding everything). Paranoia. Depressed. Lonely. Delusional.

One of the big reasons I was afraid, was that I would buy the ingredients and waste them due to my anxiety. Let me explain. I will get manic and want to cook all these dinners. I will buy the ingredients, come home, and depression socks me in the stomach with a one-two punch. Many times I do not even try to cook because I am too anxious and too overwhelmed to get busy in the kitchen. I used to love to cook. Now, I am afraid of it.

I want to stop this cycle by holding on to carpe diem, seize the day! I would love to work through my anxiety.

My promise to myself

When I come out of this dark hole of poor health, I will be seizing the day!  Every day! No matter what life hands me, no more putting things off until tomorrow. You want to know why? Because we are never promised tomorrow. We only have today.

Call to Action

What holds you back from living the life you should be living? What or who do you need to say “Carpe Diem” to? It might be difficult at first, but the more you seize the day, the easier it will get.

You know what? Jesus wants us to live in the moment instead of always looking to the past or the future. Pray about focusing on the here and now.

Life Conquering is an award-winning blog

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Today’s Christian Living


Print magazine and website

  • “Strength in Weakness” (bipolar) published in the October/November 2015 Vol. 53 No. 6 issue on page 40
  • “Praying Through Fear” (anxiety) published in the November 2017 Vol. 52 No. 6 issue on page 50

Public Speaking Events

Pinterest and Popcorn

A Women’s Ministry Activity at my church to share ideas and to fellowship.

  • Introduced Life Conquering
  • Shared information to educate on mental health
  • Spoke individually with the women and ministered to them

Fruit of the Spirit Bible Study

  • Introduced Life Conquering
  • Shared information to educate on mental health
  • Spoke individually with the women and ministered to them
  • Shared my life with bipolar 1

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