Self-Awareness

I must be self-aware of triggers that cause me to spiral into a depression or kick-start a manic episode. This means I need to take inventory of what affects my moods. For instance, I know a few of my triggers are people, traffic and waiting in line at the grocery store. When I am late getting to the grocery, the store is more crowded. This causes me to be more anxious and overwhelmed. When that happens, I want to immediately leave my full shopping cart in the middle of an aisle somewhere in the store and walk out. To keep heads from rolling in the produce aisle (and I do not mean lettuce), I go to the grocery early Saturday mornings.

It is important to know my triggers. This awareness of myself can lead to a strong sense of self and can prevent a plunge into depression or a skyrocket flight into mania. It has helped me handle work issues, relationship issues and family issues to name a few

Self-Education

I am responsible for educating ME! Decisions need to be made on which psychiatrist or therapist to go to, on what medications to take and how to manage the bipolar. I have done much research on the internet from reputable sites such as:

http://www.dbsalliance.org/site/PageServer?pagename=home

http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/bipolar-disorder-in-adults/index.shtml

http://www.webmd.com/bipolar-disorder/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bipolar_disorder

http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/bipolar-disorder/basics/definition/con-20027544

I have also purchased several books from bookstores that have been very helpful in my quest to gain more knowledge about bipolar. I mentioned DBSA as a reputable source on the Internet to go to. They also have local chapters that meet in support groups. I try to attend the meetings every week. That is also another source of good information. I have learned so much from my peers at the DBSA support group in my city’s chapter. By hearing from their experiences, I learn that I am not alone. By educating myself through my own research will help to build a strong sense of self.

Self-Esteem

Bipolar can really eat away at your self-esteem. Thoughts run through my mind — “you’re inadequate to do this job”, “you’re so stupid” or “you’re worthless.” We all have had our battles with negative self-talk. We can seem powerless against them. But that is a negative thought, too! I use the coping strategy, C.O.T.T. I have shared this coping strategy before last year on this same blog. Here is a refresher course on C.O.T.T. which will help build a strong sense of self.

Captive – I took my thoughts captive as we are instructed in 2 Corinthians 10:5 to do. I needed to arrest the poisonous babble before it took control of my day and ruined it.

Obedient – After the thoughts were taken captive, I gave them over to Christ and made them obedient to Him. There were no longer thoughts running amuck in my head, Jesus now had control over them.

Think – Next, I changed my thinking. We are encouraged in Philippians 4 to think on whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent or praiseworthy. Is making my mind a hot bed for negative thoughts true, admirable or praiseworthy? No! Thinking about joyful things is the way to go.

Thankful – Lastly, I offered a prayer of thanksgiving for the blessings in my life. In 1 Corinthians 5:18, Paul directs us to give thanks in all circumstances. This is what I would consider the icing on the cake. Having an attitude of gratitude about the blessings in my life changes my frame of mind which changes my attitude. I no longer focus on me. The situation around me disappears and I focus on God.

Self-Control

I have been tempted to be impulsive and reckless. It takes everything I have to not act on those impulses. I have utilized another coping strategy I have shared on this blog called S.T.O.P. to help me make the right decisions. When I am able to tune out the impulsive and reckless voices of bipolar, then I am able to build a strong sense of self.

S – silence – I get to a place where I can silence my brain, my environment, my phone, the people around me, etc. This way, I will be at a better place to hear from God. Psalm 46:10

T – talk – I talk to God. It does not have to be a formal prayer. It can be “Lord, help me!” I go to Him and tell Him what is on my heart. Psalm 4:1

O – observe – I observe the great holiness of God by praising Him for who He is. Nothing is too hard for Him to handle. Jeremiah 32:27

P – ponder – I ponder on scripture that will help me through my difficult time. Matthew 4:1-11

Conclusion

Assessing who I am and what I know, as well as being grateful for my value as a unique individual and practicing some self-restraint, is a way to build a strong sense of self.

Reference

Propst, Stephen – “A proper sense of self”. bp. Fall 2015. pg. 15

The post How to Build a Strong Sense of Self appeared first on Life Conquering Blog.

In a May 2015 article in Psychology Today entitled  “The Voice of Reason” the author discusses the research behind self-talk. Self-talk is where you use your inner voice to speak words to yourself in any given situation. For instance, you hit a homerun in the baseball game Tuesday night. Your inner voice says “Way to go!” On the flip side, you made a presentation to your boss and your colleagues which fell flat. You go back to your office and berate yourself on how unprepared you were by calling yourself an idiot and lazy.

The research according to this article backs up the idea that using positive statements to ourselves improves anxiety, fear and overall feelings about oneself in difficult situations. The article further discusses using your given name is even more beneficial than using the pronoun, I.

It Works!

I have used self-talk for a while now. Therapists and teachers have encouraged me to cheer myself on when the going got tough or before a major performance where I felt unsure of myself. It never occurred to me how important the right words spoken to oneself can be. On the flip side, negative words spoken in the heat of the moment can cause damage, too. I have had both the positive and the negative scripts played in my mind throughout my life. I must admit that sometimes it is easier to listen to the negative script.

Negative Self-Talk

I grew up in a hostile environment during my formative years. With an alcoholic dad and an explosive mother, our home was a powder keg ready to blow up at any minute. This environment was a breeding ground for a little girl to grow up with self-esteem issues. I have listened to the negative self-talk all through my life.

“Just give up.”

“You can’t do it!”

“No one cares about you.”

I remember wanting to try out for our middle school girls’ basketball team. It would have been great exercise for me since all of my other activities were sedentary. I also wanted the new challenge. My dad shut down my hoop dreams by saying I could not try out because I could not play basketball and besides I was too short.

Needless to say this crushed my self-esteem. Someone who was supposed to support me and believe in me was putting the negative self-talk inside my head for me. With that, I struggled to get involved in new activities because of the voices that said I could not do it. 

Positive Self-Talk

I have learned ways to combat that negative self-talk. It is difficult at times because the negative script sometimes plays louder than the positive. That is when I have to listen real close to what my heart is saying.

As a Christian Jesus tells me to take all my thoughts captive and make them obedient to Him (2 Corinthians 10:5). If I do that when the negative script begins to play, I can stop it and replace the self-talk with thoughts like:

“Amy is a child of God” (Romans 8:16).

“Amy is forgiven” (Colossians 1:13-14).

“Amy is a new creation” (2 Corinthians 5:17).

“Amy is saved by grace through faith” (Ephesians 2:8).

When I am in a depressed mood and the negative self-talk begins to start up, I take them captive and speak truth to my soul. That makes such a huge difference in my attitude, my work performance and how I interact with others. This self-talk may be internal, but it has external effects.

Life Giving Words

The research says that self-talk is important. However, it matters what you say to yourself. You need to fill your mind with positive affirmations not the lies that Satan wants you to hear. If it is hard for you to remember positive affirmations, write them down on a note card and keep it in your pocket, wallet or purse. When you begin to hear the negative script start to play in your head, you can pull out your new script and replace it with the life giving words.

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