Secure Fortress Amidst Bipolar Upheaval

I do not know how long I have had my mental illness. It wasn’t until December of 2007 when I was finally diagnosed with having bipolar disorder. Trying to find stable ground since then has not been an easy road to travel.

When I am not stable, my bipolar changes my moods like the wind changes directions. One moment I am feeling neutral and everything is calm, the next minute I am in a rage. I can go from laughing to crying and back to laughing in a matter of seconds. On some days finding a stable mood is almost as elusive as catching a rainbow.

Another thing in my life that likes to change as much as my bipolar changes my moods, are the situations in my life. Does your life come to a screeching halt when you receive an unpleasant phone call, when someone gets sick unexpectedly or when a project date gets moved up at the last minute? Our situations can change like the shadows on a fall afternoon.

What do you do when the rug gets pulled out from beneath you?

Through the years of my instability with bipolar and just living life, I have come to learn that there is only one thing in this world that is stable and that is God. When I have had a weak moment, God has been my steady source of strength. When I was unsure about a decision and needed a steady source of wisdom, I turned to God. I have learned that I can count on God to be unchanging no matter what mood I may be in at the moment or what curve ball life may throw at me.

In this world where change is inevitable, you need a place to go to for stability. There are many places in the Bible where God is called a Fortress (for example Psalm 18:2). When I think of a fortress, I think of a sturdy structure, unable to be penetrated by outside forces. I run to God whenever I feel the bipolar moods start to swing or my situation changes without warning. That is when I reach out and cling to Him.

Even though my bipolar keeps my moods shifting like quicksand beneath my feet and my situations may not go as planned, my Fortress is holding steady. When you receive that dreaded phone call, a loved one gets sick or the due date gets changed on the project, God is there holding steady the entire time.