Bipolar and OCD
Having a mental illness as complex as bipolar 1 with psychotic features, I have too many reasons to have prayer as part of my life than not. My psychologist says that a majority of bipolars have a touch of OCD in them. I am living proof of this. I get unwanted thoughts in my head and they spin around and around the record player endlessly as if the needle was stuck.
The Issue vs. Prayer
My needle got fixed on one issue while I was getting ready to go to work. I could not get it out of my mind. I would pray to God to help take the obsession away — not once, not twice, not three times, but practically for the duration of the time it took me to get ready. The thoughts and memories kept pouring into my mind like an avalanche. Well I would say this to him, or I would say that resounded in the recesses of my mind. Then I would break in and pray, “God help me to release this obsession!” I was almost in tears by the time I was walking out the door to go to work.
You may be thinking, “Hmm, I thought the meaning behind the title of this blog was in support of prayer?” It is. The story does not end there.
I went on about my day, with a heavy burden. I often thought about my issue that was plaguing me like ants at a picnic. I felt my stomach gurgle and I felt nauseous. Nothing seemed to soothe my obsession. I prayed a few more times. I knew God was listening. I knew He would be faithful to answer my prayers on His on time.
Answer to Prayer
Later that morning, the issue presented itself. Here is where my anxiety and my OCD met head-to-head. I felt this warming sensation start at my toes and travel to the top of my head. The next thing I know, I was speaking to the adversary without stuttering and stammering. I sounded coherent and my thoughts were organized. I was above all assertive. Then another twist in the story, the person who I thought who was my adversary became my supporter.
God did answer my prayer. He may not have answered it immediately, but I love the way He chose to answer. It was the best way for me. Instead of giving me peace and calm at home, he chose to drench me with it when I was faced with the issue. If He had answered my prayers earlier that morning, I might not have continued to rely on Him.
References on Prayer