http://lifeconquering.org/

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What is Next

1. The good thing is that Christmas is over, now.  December 25th has come and gone.  You can breathe a sigh of relief.  No more family obligations. No more tempting food to fight against to say “No!”  No more embarassing work parties.
2. As we look to turn the calendar to a new month and a new year, we can put those painful memories of Christmas’s past or the memories and bad dreams of the year that is about to end.  The important thing about what is next, is a clear head from all the bad junk and baggage from the holiday and the current year.
3. A new year is just around the corner. What is next?  Open up your mind to the infinite possibilites that lie ahead.  So many exciting adventures yet to be experienced.  We get to start over afresh at the beginning of each year.
4. I encourage you to try setting a few goals for yourself come January 1st. Goal setting is a great way to focus your energies on the things you feel are importatnt. Start small so you have  a greater chance to succeed.  You can always add more later.
5. Do your best to look forward to a new year.  There may be some uncertainties in the upcoming year.  But, you have a blank canvas- ready to fill with your own brush strokes.  You have a say in where your life goes.  What is next?  Do you want to sign up for an adult ed class?  Do you want to learn how to ski?  Do you want to learn how to bake?  Do you want to start a savings account or an investment fund?  Do you want to rebuild a car?  It is up to you whether your dreams will come trure or turn to ash.

Stay Strong

So what is next, you say?  Too much to count.  I like to propel the negative vibes I may receive during the Christmas holiday toward the great unknown of the new year.  I pray that you will stay strong and not let the depression from the holiday shadows get the best of you.

References

https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/depression/index.shtml

http://www.webmd.com/depression/

http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/basics/definition/con-20032977

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“O Holy Night” was playing out of the elder truck’s speakers with the strength of a King and the tenderness of a lamb. My dad and I shared a special moment together as we lifted our voices to the Heavens that cold, dark December night. I do not remember anything else that was said, but what I do know is that our hearts as father and daughter made a special connection. Our souls spoke to one another confirming what we just sang and what we believed in our hearts to be true — Jesus is our King and Jesus is our Redeemer.

As I came back to reality and was sitting at a traffic light in my Mustang instead of a truck with ‘80s hair and braces, I was first stunned by the thought that my dad has missed and will miss so many Christmases. Then the coin flipped over and I was reminded that he made many poor choices in his life. His poor choices brought him an early death due to choosing alcohol.

I shook the memory out of my head and refocused on this gift that sat on the passenger’s seat beside me. The unexpected Christmas gift glistened with its big floppy bow and shiny paper. I was eager to unwrap it and find out what was in it. I pulled on the bright gold bow and the ribbon fell all around the box in curls. Looking for finger holes in the wrapping, I began pealing the red paper off.

When I looked inside the box, I stared first at its contents. Then I slowly smiled and nodded my head in agreement at what I saw inside. The contents of the box in the seat next to me was amazing. I saw a brown wooden cross and a spotless white robe.

The trip down memory lane with my father and the Christmas song we heard that night so long ago was no coincidence. I had just turned 40 and I was having a difficult time turning the page of the calendar to another decade older. At this time in my life, I felt like a lot of time, spiritual gifts and resources had been wasted. I saw myself as someone who has been making poor choices herself.

As I looked over at the unexpected gift, I was reminded that I am forgiven because I accepted Jesus and loved, just like my dad, just like you. I can get very judgmental of myself sometimes and I end up before Amy’s firing squad. That is not how God wants us to be like. Remember “O Holy Night”? The theme of redemption is woven throughout the stanzas.

I love how God knows just what we need to gently pull us back in to Him. Now, when I hear “O Holy Night”, I will be reminded of God’s love and sacrifice. I will put down my microscope on myself and bask in His Love.

http://www.lyricsfreak.com/h/hillsong/o+holy+night_21049693.html

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We live in an unstable world. Someone with paranoia, like me, can really get caught up in the media hype and sensationalism of the atrocities that go on in this world. The current events may lead a person to hide in her house forever. Due to events in our society both nationally and locally within the last 5-7 years, I have been avoiding the movie theatre for fear of being shot in a massacre or beaten up by a complete stranger. A couple weekends ago, I just recently went to the movie theatre for the first time in many years.

We are supposed to live in freedom, not hide in our homes. We were created for community, not to live as a hermit. We have freedom to live in this great country without fear for our lives!

However, the time has come in our global society where hate often casts a black shadow on what we hold dear to our hearts. What do you do? Stay in your house? Live on your therapist’s couch? Drown your worries and fears with pills? Don’t laugh, because I have contemplated each one of these to get through a bad news day.

Here are some ways that helps me refocus when the world seems to be turned upside down and I believe I have cameras watching me or think someone will burst from within the closed closet in my bedroom. Fear is a great way to take away your freedom.

Limit News Intake

We have the freedom to learn about a world through the news, however limit your time watching and listening to the news. I used to be a real news junky. I would soak in all the local news sometimes watching from 6:00-9:00 a.m. and 4:00 p.m. to 6:30 p.m. Yearning for more news, I would watch the evening news on one of the networks and also watch Fox News throughout the day. This did not account for the news I would gather on my stereo in the car. This was a few years before the Smart Phone. Boy, would I have been in trouble if I still had this lust for news when those came out!

Increase Good News Intake

You have the freedom to choose what type of news you are exposed to. If you are going to read news, try at least to read uplifting, happy, positive news feeds. Be sure there is a balance between the ominous sounding articles and the ones that give you a good belly laugh or make you feel good on the inside.

Add the website below to your favorite’s list for uplifting news stories:

http://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/

Join a Support Group

You have the freedom to belong and feel accepted for who you are. Support groups are a nice way to share about yourself without being judged and hear about others’ struggles and victories. Remember, it may take a while to get settled into a group. I have been going to this one group off-and-on for a number of years now and I just recently felt accepted and loved. It was nothing they did. I think I was finally ready to give of myself and show some vulnerability.

Here is a link to Depression Bipolar Support Alliance (DBSA):

http://www.dbsalliance.org/site/PageServer?pagename=wellness_support_groups

Seek God

You have the freedom to worship. The best news you will hear all day: there is Someone Who is bigger than this world and everything in it. He actually created it along with the universe. He knows every hair on your head. He saw your unformed body in your mother’s womb. God can easily be found — you just have to be willing to open your eyes and look.

You can start speaking to God by just talking to Him. That is all what a prayer truly is — a conversation with God. Speak what is on your heart.

Nothing is too big or too small for God. Whatever has you terrified, call out to Him for peace. There have been many times I have watched a news broadcast and heard something devastating. I then tried to remember to pray for the person, the family and friends and even the authorities involved. I might even cry out to God a call for mercy on behalf of our country.

Conclusion

If you have tried any of these ideas to help you experience freedom, email me at [email protected]. I would love to hear about your experiences.

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In the quest to accomplish my resolutions, I have worked my willpower muscle until it cannot move anymore.  I have learned through the years that willpower alone is not the best motivator in making it to the finish line.  Below are some ways to keep motivated to accomplish your resolutions for the New Year New You.

What?

Many people use good ole fashion discipline to accomplish their goals they committed to at the beginning of the New Year.  The bad thing about relying on discipline is you end up feeling like you have to do something.  I have attempted to use discipline to accomplish goals in the past.  Soon after I started, I felt like I had to and was being forced beyond my will.  Instead, try asking yourself the following questions:

• What is this resolution’s importance to me?
• What will it bring me?
• What will not pursuing it mean to me?

If you focus on the meaning behind your resolution, there is more value to the blood, sweat and tears that you invest in reaching your New Year New You goal.  I would much rather think about my resolution’s importance to me than to be disciplined by a drill sergeant yelling in my head.

Be Prepared

There are physical and mental barriers that keep us from going the distance with our resolution.  Take time to sort out these barriers to your goals and be prepared to squash them when they come up.  Barriers come in all shapes and sizes: spending too much time sitting in front of the TV, a low self-esteem which keeps you from bettering yourself, spending too much time on Facebook, or spending all your time at work.   Most of these barriers are rooted in the fear of something like the fear of failure or rejection.  It is very important to identify your barrier in order to know what you are dealing with and know how to face it.

One of my resolutions is to lose weight.  I prefer working out in the morning.  But sometimes, there are barriers to me working out.  I maybe too tired, or it is too cold and the bed is nice and warm beckoning me to stay under the covers or I would rather do anything else with this extra time than exercise.  To combat these barriers, I get my workout clothes ready the night before. I set them out so I can work out first thing in the morning.  Some people actually wear their workout clothes to bed the night before.

Dream about the End

Imagine what it would feel like to achieve success and follow through with your resolutions.  I like dreaming about reaching my weight loss goal.  I think about how I would look physically, how I would feel mentally or the new clothes I would purchase.  There is research that indicates combining mental imagery and physical action is more effective than doing just one.  For example, dreaming about what life will be like once you lose weight along with working out and eating healthy is more effective than just exercising alone to achieve your goals for the New Year New You.

If-Then Planning

This is simply: if A happens then I will do B.  There is research that people who use this strategy are more successful in reaching their goals.  This method saves your willpower muscle.  When the mental barriers start up in the morning and I do not want to work out, I can use the if-then strategy.  I can think to myself “if I work out this morning, I will feel better.”  Or “if I work out, I will lose weight.”

Set Sub-Goals

Sometimes it can be a bit too much to handle when you look at your resolution in its entirety.  You can set up sub-goals as markers to help keep you focused as you go along.  For instance, if you have fifty pounds you would like to lose before summer, take a look at the calendar between now and the start of summer. Next, set up dates where you will check your progress.  On those dates, you could have a sub-goal of 10 pounds lost, 25 pounds lost, etc.

New Year New You

I am going to try these suggestions with my resolution to lose weight this year.  I feel that they can work and help me reach my goal.  If you decide to try one or all these tips for the New Year New You, email me and let me know how you are doing at [email protected].

Reference

http://www.forbes.com/sites/jeffboss/2015/12/28/follow-this-5-point-checklist-to-ensure-your-new-years-resolution-comes-to-fruition/2/

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• Spending time with difficult family members.
• Being asked to attend numerous social functions which stretches your social anxiety, energy level, money management and time management
• Christmas shopping in a manic state while having difficulties exhibiting self-control.
• Feeling empty and lonely because of the loss of a loved one.

These are just a few examples of triggers that may set someone off with bipolar during the holidays.  The stress of these triggers can have an effect on relationships, health, job performance and self-esteem.  If we want to deal with holiday stress, we need to have some ideas of how we can face these triggers head-on.

Ways of Dealing with Holiday Stress

Get plenty of rest.  If you have been a bit grouchy, look at the amount of time you are sleeping.  Your body needs time to do countless system checks while you are resting your body at night.  Being hyped on caffeine or manic can interrupt sleep. Do you need to add time at night or add time in the morning?  Just sleeping for thirty minutes or an hour more can do wonders for your mood, memory and concentration.

Take time for yourself.  It is not selfish to take a break from life to go watch your favorite movie or hang out at your favorite coffee shop.  It is okay to do something fun amidst the holiday stress to diminish the size of the triggers.  Doing something for yourself will also get your mind off of the stress for a while.  It will put you in a better place to handle the stressor.  When I take time alone, I can quiet the rest of the world and listen to what God has to say about the stressful situation. After spending time with Him, I have a clearer idea what needs to be done in the situation.

Spend time with friends.  It is important to have friends in your circle who understand your mental illness.  They are able to share in your experiences and may offer advice from their own wisdom.  My life is far richer because of the friends I have in it.  I feel loved and accepted.

Stay connected to your psychiatrist and therapist.  From November to December, psychiatrists and therapists offices tend to get busy.  The provider may go out of town for an extended period of time and so is unavailable to work you into their schedule.  Either plan ahead with a pre-scheduled appointment before the holidays or just after.  If you are not able to see your regular psychiatrist or therapist, you might be willing to go to another provider in the same practice.

Get moving.  Schedule some exercise during the holidays.  Even if it is walking through the mall or down the block in your neighborhood — that is better than nothing.  Exercise releases endorphins in your brain that help you feel good.  If you are stressed out at work, take a walk out to your car.  Stressed out at the family dinner?  Take a walk two houses down and back.

I have included links below to share more ideas on dealing with holiday stress.

http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/stress/art-20047544

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/real-healing/201511/is-holiday-stress-creeping-you

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Jesus’ Family Tree

Now I know that must sound boring. Oh, but that is far from the truth.  In the genealogy of Jesus, you have Ruth, a foreigner married into a Jewish family who becomes a widow and follows her mother-in-law back to her homeland.  Tamar who slept with her father-in-law and bore twins.  Then my favorite, Rahab, a prostitute who saved the lives of Joshua and the other spies.  Bathsheba, Uriah’s wife with whom King David had an affair.  And Mary, a poor girl, the mother of Jesus.

Crooked Halos = Calmness

Out of the crooked halos of the genealogy of Jesus Christ, God brought calmness — a newborn baby who would grow up and save the world. If He can take broken halos and save the world, He can bring calmness into your life, too.

My Own Experiences

There are times in my own life where calmness eludes me. I may be rapid cycling and have no place to stand firm.  Jesus will come in and be my Rock.  He may calm the situation I am in or He may decide to calm me.  He may even decide to just walk beside me through the tough stuff being a calming Spirit.

Your Experiences

I am sure you have plenty of examples of how you were the complete opposite of calm this week, this month or even this year. Take a few moments and let the calmness of the baby in the manger take effect on you now.  You can take Jesus with you.  Email me at [email protected] for more details.

The Biblical Christmas Story

Below are links to websites with Bible passages on the Biblical Christmas Story.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke+2:1-20

http://www.biblestudytools.com/topical-verses/christmas-bible-verses/

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It is easy to take for granted our freedom as we drive along the freeway in our Fords, sipping on Starbucks while listening to Kelly Clarkson. I know that I often take for granted my freedom I enjoy each day. From the time that I roll out of bed in the morning to the time I place my head on my pillow at night, it barely crosses my mind the price that was paid for my freedom to live in this nation.

There is another freedom that I also take for granted and I enjoy. That freedom is the freedom from the penalty of sin. There was One person, Jesus Christ, who shed His blood for people to wash their sins away (1 John 2:2).

Freedom from the penalty of sin may not seem like that big of a deal to you. Back in the Garden of Eden with Adam and Eve, the first sin is what separated all of us from God (1 Corinthians 15:22, Romans 5:19). God is holy and He cannot be around sin (1 John 1:5). The penalty for sin is death (Romans 6:23). In order for man to be able to stand before a holy God, a sacrifice had to be made (1Peter 2:24). The perfect sacrifice was God’s Son, Jesus (Hebrews 9:28). If you accept the free gift of salvation offered through the blood of Christ, your relationship with God is whole again (Mark 16:16).

The thing with the freedom from the penalty of sin is that once Jesus sets you free, you are free indeed (John 8:36). Being free in Christ sets you free from fear, guilt, heartbreak, loneliness, brokenness, greed. You get the idea. If God is for us, who can be against us? (Romans 8:31).

On this Memorial Day weekend, ponder the lives lost to give you freedom where you live, work and play. However, do not forget to remember daily the one who has given you freedom from the penalty of sin. He deserves your praise and thanks.

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It is okay if you have stumbled out of the gate when it comes to resolutions. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and begin again. There is no shame in beginning again for a second, third, or even a fourth time. The shame is when you give up altogether and stop trying.

Good for you, if you have begun your journey on strong footing and have stuck to your resolutions. You may have to look back at your successes in order to get through a rough patch in the future. Keep up the good work.

The key to maintaining resolutions is seeing them as merely goals to be achieved. The resolutions or goals, may be personal in nature. You set out to accomplish a task that takes effort and determination to accomplish. The level of effort and determination are in direct proportion to the task that you are wanting to accomplish. The bigger the task, the greater the effort and determination. The greater the effort and determination, the greater the reward.

I bet you didn’t see that one coming, did you? The greater the effort and determination, the greater the reward. All throughout your journey, you are going to have obstacles to overcome. You must conquer each obstacle in order to reach your reward, whatever it maybe: that bikini body, a lowered cholesterol level, that dream vacation, being debt free, finding a better job, or quitting a bad habit.

On my way to work every morning, there is this gentleman who transports himself in a wheelchair on the sidewalk. I do not know where he is coming from or where he is going. He has several obstacles along his path, several very busy intersections and a railroad track. I envision every morning written across his chest the word, DETERMINATION, because he has to be determined to meet and conquer all of those obstacles in order to reach his destination.

That man has in mind that no matter the obstacles, no matter the set-backs, he will reach his goal. Nobody else will do it for him. If he does not do it, nobody else will. You must look at your goals with the same determination. No matter the obstacles, no matter the set-backs, you will reach your goals. Take one step at a time and one day at a time. If you fail, get up, dust yourself off and try again. There is no shame in trying again. Remember, the shame only comes when you give up altogether and stop trying.

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What does your daily calendar look like? Do you make time in your busy schedule for God? Or are you too busy with work, family obligations, errands and your To-Do List? These activities are not bad but cause problems when we fill our calendars so full with stuff that we leave no room for Him.

Going to church on the weekends is a great way to connect to God but that should not be your only way of connecting with the Creator of the Universe. If you do not have a regular time alone with Him, now is a great time to get started.

Do not know what to do when you are alone with Him? There is no particular formula or set of rules to follow when you spend time with God. I encourage you to pray about what He wants to do with your time together. Here are some suggestions of activities that you may want to try.

• You can read a chapter from the Bible. Do not know where to start in the Bible? Google Bible reading plans. Do not feel like you have to stick to a rigid reading schedule. Give yourself some breathing room if you have to miss a day or two. Once your schedule gets freed back up, get back to your time with God. Remember, read the Bible at your own pace. It’s not a race to the finish. It’s all about quality and not quantity that matters.
• You can pray. Make a list of people that you would like to pray for. While it may be difficult to pray for everybody each and every day, you can divide up the week so you can pray for different people on different days of the week.
• Listen to and if the mood strikes you, sing along with worship music.
• Read a study book or a Bible study. This helps if you are new to studying the Bible or want to study a particular topic. I have some Bible study ideas on my Author page at http://lifeconquering.org/author-list/
• Study and memorize scripture. The Bible says for us to hide His Word in our heart. You can pick out a verse from the selection you read that morning. I like to memorize no more than one verse a week so as not to get overwhelmed. I like to write my memory verses on index cards and carry them with me. That way, I can work on memorizing the verse anywhere and anytime I have a free minute. Some people like to put their memory verses on the bathroom mirror or on the refrigerator. As long as you put the verse in a place where you will be reminded to look over it for memorization. Be sure to review each week the previous weeks’ verses that you memorized so as not to forget what you already memorized.
• This is simply taking some idea or concept and thinking on it or dwelling on it. You can consider it a kind of reflection. You can meditate on what you read that morning, the verse you are memorizing, or maybe God is working in you and through you in areas of your life that need to be worked on.
• Listen for God. I saved the best for last. You must take time to listen. Just in any conversation, you do not (hopefully) have a one-way conversation where just one person does all the talking. You do not want to get into a habit with God where you do all the talking and you do not listen for His voice.

Pick a time during the day that you are most alert and focused. Also, you need to find a location that is free from distractions.

Slow down during your busy day and make some resolutions to take time to spend with God this year. It will be the best decision you will make in 2015!

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