“O Holy Night” was playing out of the elder truck’s speakers with the strength of a King and the tenderness of a lamb. My dad and I shared a special moment together as we lifted our voices to the Heavens that cold, dark December night. I do not remember anything else that was said, but what I do know is that our hearts as father and daughter made a special connection. Our souls spoke to one another confirming what we just sang and what we believed in our hearts to be true — Jesus is our King and Jesus is our Redeemer.

As I came back to reality and was sitting at a traffic light in my Mustang instead of a truck with ‘80s hair and braces, I was first stunned by the thought that my dad has missed and will miss so many Christmases. Then the coin flipped over and I was reminded that he made many poor choices in his life. His poor choices brought him an early death due to choosing alcohol.

I shook the memory out of my head and refocused on this gift that sat on the passenger’s seat beside me. The unexpected Christmas gift glistened with its big floppy bow and shiny paper. I was eager to unwrap it and find out what was in it. I pulled on the bright gold bow and the ribbon fell all around the box in curls. Looking for finger holes in the wrapping, I began pealing the red paper off.

When I looked inside the box, I stared first at its contents. Then I slowly smiled and nodded my head in agreement at what I saw inside. The contents of the box in the seat next to me was amazing. I saw a brown wooden cross and a spotless white robe.

The trip down memory lane with my father and the Christmas song we heard that night so long ago was no coincidence. I had just turned 40 and I was having a difficult time turning the page of the calendar to another decade older. At this time in my life, I felt like a lot of time, spiritual gifts and resources had been wasted. I saw myself as someone who has been making poor choices herself.

As I looked over at the unexpected gift, I was reminded that I am forgiven because I accepted Jesus and loved, just like my dad, just like you. I can get very judgmental of myself sometimes and I end up before Amy’s firing squad. That is not how God wants us to be like. Remember “O Holy Night”? The theme of redemption is woven throughout the stanzas.

I love how God knows just what we need to gently pull us back in to Him. Now, when I hear “O Holy Night”, I will be reminded of God’s love and sacrifice. I will put down my microscope on myself and bask in His Love.

http://www.lyricsfreak.com/h/hillsong/o+holy+night_21049693.html

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Jesus’ Family Tree

Now I know that must sound boring. Oh, but that is far from the truth.  In the genealogy of Jesus, you have Ruth, a foreigner married into a Jewish family who becomes a widow and follows her mother-in-law back to her homeland.  Tamar who slept with her father-in-law and bore twins.  Then my favorite, Rahab, a prostitute who saved the lives of Joshua and the other spies.  Bathsheba, Uriah’s wife with whom King David had an affair.  And Mary, a poor girl, the mother of Jesus.

Crooked Halos = Calmness

Out of the crooked halos of the genealogy of Jesus Christ, God brought calmness — a newborn baby who would grow up and save the world. If He can take broken halos and save the world, He can bring calmness into your life, too.

My Own Experiences

There are times in my own life where calmness eludes me. I may be rapid cycling and have no place to stand firm.  Jesus will come in and be my Rock.  He may calm the situation I am in or He may decide to calm me.  He may even decide to just walk beside me through the tough stuff being a calming Spirit.

Your Experiences

I am sure you have plenty of examples of how you were the complete opposite of calm this week, this month or even this year. Take a few moments and let the calmness of the baby in the manger take effect on you now.  You can take Jesus with you.  Email me at [email protected] for more details.

The Biblical Christmas Story

Below are links to websites with Bible passages on the Biblical Christmas Story.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke+2:1-20

http://www.biblestudytools.com/topical-verses/christmas-bible-verses/

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I have learned a lot about grace through my mental illness. I didn’t do anything to earn God’s love or faithfulness for Him to walk with me through my depression, manic episodes and mixed states.

God has shown me through the bipolar that His grace is not up to what I do. I cannot earn God’s love nor can I be separated from it.  Paul tells us in Romans 8:38-39 “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”  I would like to add to that list neither a mental illness can separate us from God’s love, too.

Never-ending Love

Just because I am unable to spend time with Him during my depression, does not mean that God stops loving me. He proved this to me countless times during a very dark period in my life.  He walked every painful step with me.  I was never alone because I felt my God beside me when I would cry out in Jesus’ name.  During the times I was manic or had mixed states and I could barely function, God was beside me the entire time.  His presence or love for me was not about what I could do for Him.

Grace Just Is

I experience God’s grace in a beautiful way daily through my bipolar. I have done nothing to deserve his abiding presence.  He is there because God is love.  He is there because He has promised to never leave me or forsake me.  You don’t have to have a mental illness to experience God’s grace.  All you have to do is realize that you do not have to earn his favor.  God loved you so much that He sent His Son to die for you.  He even chose the cross when we were still sinners, too.  We did nothing to deserve His grace.  We should just accept grace.

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Did Jesus stick by your side when you were in that depression last month and your friends got tired of the blue skies always hanging around? What about the time you were so manic that you could hardly stand yourself, but He loved you through it? Was Jesus there graciously helping you make ends meet when you impulsively quit your job? Does Jesus listen to your repeated babbling when you have no other friends who understand what you are going through? Those are the times when you know that God had a hand in helping you through your mental illness

I have to admit, I do not always give the glory to God when I have had a difficult day and I got through it. When I encounter Jesus, I am changed. This should prompt me to share my experiences with others so they may know Jesus, too. I know, having a mental illness comes with a stigma. You do not have to go into specifics on why your day was “hard”. You can just say that “God got you through an extremely difficult day”. Focus on what God did, not on the circumstances.

Experiencing Jesus should compel us to talk about Him. You can use your pain to point the way to Jesus for someone else. Maybe as you tell your story of comfort and love, the people you share with will get to know a God they never knew existed.

The post A Compelling Jesus appeared first on Life Conquering Bipolar Blog.

We have our qualifiers in what we are looking for in our next abode. For example, we would like to have a large backyard with a fence, three bedrooms and a basement. We tend to stay away from the listings that are being sold “as is”. This means that what you see is what you get and there may need to be additional investment on the buyer’s part for renovations. Did you find a hole in the wall? Too bad, the seller is not obligated to fix it according to their “as is” contract. Is the water heater busted? Oh well, the seller is not responsible for buying the replacement. My husband and I are not interested in getting involved with those types of contracts and incurring extra expenses going into a home.

Have you ever felt like you were rejected for being “as is”? Are you afraid of being accepted because you did hard time in prison for something you later regretted? Did you have an abortion and feel rejected in the office break room when everybody is talking about their kids and grandkids? Are you a recovering alcoholic who lost everything and is afraid to start over again because of fear of no one accepting you?

There is One who does not reject you for being “as is”. We were bought “as is” – faults, defects, differences as well as baggage. In John 3:17, we are reminded why Jesus came to this earth in the first place, “For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him”. “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” Romans 8:1. Jesus is not here to point fingers. He stands there with arms open wide, ready to accept you “as is”.

If you accept the free gift of salvation, you are no longer condemned. You do not have to fix up or go through major renovations in order to come to Jesus. He is waiting for you, right where you are. If you would like to talk about coming to Jesus “as is”, email me at [email protected]. I would love to talk to you about a personal relationship with Jesus.

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I can easily stray from having a close relationship with Jesus. I sleep in instead of having my quiet time where I pray and read the Bible. I choose to stay home instead of going to church because I think the sermon does not relate to me and my situation. When this mindset kicks in, a domino effect occurs. I am no longer connecting to my source of living water. As a result, I start being more selfish than usual, I get lazier, I do not want anything to do with anybody. All in all, I am no fun to be around because I am dying on the inside.

The reason I might not get up early and pray or decide not to go to church is because I am often lead astray by something else. Satan whispers in my ear and the bed feels much more comfortable than getting up at 5:00 a.m. to be with Jesus. Satan comes and entices me to skip church, leading me to believe that I cannot learn anything from a sermon that I do not find interesting.

I am allowing myself to be led astray by the father of lies, the master deceiver. He wants to do everything he can to take our eyes off Jesus. It may be a warm bed, a baseball game, shopping with friends, staying up late watching T.V. or fill-in-the-blank with whatever leads you away from God.

The Leader

Since I am an easy target for distraction, I need a fierce Leader who can keep me on target and focused on my goals as a Christian to become more like Jesus every day. This means I must be willing to hand my life over to the Master Leader who can capture my heart and help me to stay in relationship with Him.

Sheep

In Isaiah 53:6, we are called sheep. Sheep have the mindset that they need a strong leader. They will follow anything or anyone to the detriment of their wellbeing. Without a leader, they will wander off the path away from the rest of the sheep, get lost, drink dirty water, get stuck in bushes, start to pick fights with other sheep and need protection from the enemy. This is a great picture of me since I so desperately need a Leader to guide me and protect me. I need a Leader that will direct me down the road of life over the ups and downs of every hill. In Psalm 23, it describes our Good Shepherd: He cares for us (v. 1); He provides for our physical needs (v. 2); He shows us how to live holy lives (v. 3); He restores us, comforts us and blesses us (vv. 3-5); and He will not abandon us (v. 6).

I do not mind being called a sheep as long as I am in the right fold and close to The Shepherd, Jesus. My tendency to stray is curbed by my relationship with the Shepherd. I do not live a perfect Christian life and I do not know anyone who does. I am going to slip up but in the end, I always come back to the fold. Staying close to the Shepherd helps me to make the right decisions for my life and to shine the light of God to others around me.

Jesus Our Shepherd

Do you have a relationship with Jesus? Is He your Shepherd, leading your life? You can have a relationship with God through Jesus. Email me at [email protected] and I will be more than glad to discuss with you how you can begin a relationship with Jesus.

The post The Wandering Sheep of Jesus appeared first on Life Conquering Bipolar Blog.

It is easy to take for granted our freedom as we drive along the freeway in our Fords, sipping on Starbucks while listening to Kelly Clarkson. I know that I often take for granted my freedom I enjoy each day. From the time that I roll out of bed in the morning to the time I place my head on my pillow at night, it barely crosses my mind the price that was paid for my freedom to live in this nation.

There is another freedom that I also take for granted and I enjoy. That freedom is the freedom from the penalty of sin. There was One person, Jesus Christ, who shed His blood for people to wash their sins away (1 John 2:2).

Freedom from the penalty of sin may not seem like that big of a deal to you. Back in the Garden of Eden with Adam and Eve, the first sin is what separated all of us from God (1 Corinthians 15:22, Romans 5:19). God is holy and He cannot be around sin (1 John 1:5). The penalty for sin is death (Romans 6:23). In order for man to be able to stand before a holy God, a sacrifice had to be made (1Peter 2:24). The perfect sacrifice was God’s Son, Jesus (Hebrews 9:28). If you accept the free gift of salvation offered through the blood of Christ, your relationship with God is whole again (Mark 16:16).

The thing with the freedom from the penalty of sin is that once Jesus sets you free, you are free indeed (John 8:36). Being free in Christ sets you free from fear, guilt, heartbreak, loneliness, brokenness, greed. You get the idea. If God is for us, who can be against us? (Romans 8:31).

On this Memorial Day weekend, ponder the lives lost to give you freedom where you live, work and play. However, do not forget to remember daily the one who has given you freedom from the penalty of sin. He deserves your praise and thanks.

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Many people want to be part of the excitement surrounding the Kentucky Derby. The attendance ranking of the Kentucky Derby generally surpasses the attendance of all other stakes races together with the Preakness Stakes, Belmont Stakes and the Breeders’ Cup races. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kentucky_Derby) People from all over come to see the hats, drink the mint juleps, place the bets and of course watch their favorite horse run and hopefully win.

For the spectators, the weeks and days leading up to the main event can be as all-consuming as if they are training to win the Kentucky Derby themselves. Buying the shoes to go with the dress to finding the perfect hat to round out the ensemble can be an Olympic sport to some women. Preparing your house and yard for a Derby party can devour what little extra time you have after work or on the weekends leading up to the big day.

However, our compulsion to go all in with gusto is just not restricted to the Kentucky Derby. We get fanatical during March Madness and football season, or if you are into baseball or hockey or soccer. It does not matter the shape of the ball or the puck because it does not even need to be a sport. It can be a hobby, a job, a friendship, social media, or an addiction.

When was the last time you got enthusiastic about Jesus? I know that I cannot tell you when the last time I got enthusiastic about Jesus like I do about the Kentucky Derby. It has been a long time. I put more effort into finding a special shampoo on Sunday than I did with my quiet time that morning. I would not rest until I found that special shampoo, but with my quiet time, I allowed myself to drift off to sleep.

I am not saying that being passionate about a horse or hockey team is bad. What I am saying is that we need to better order our priorities. Instead of putting the decorations for the Derby party on the top of my to-do list this week, I should take time to be Jesus to a friend who has been struggling with depression.

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During my quiet times with God, I set aside time for confession and to be completely transparent with Him. Sometimes I know exactly what I need to confess because the offense was blatant and not easy to hide. However, there are sins that slide under the radar.

On mornings when I cannot think of any sins to confess, I go to Psalm 139:23-24, “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” I pray these verses in Psalm to ask God to show me how I have offended Him. I am human. I know I am a sinner and incapable of being perfect. Just because I cannot recall a sin I may have committed does not mean I have not committed one.

Regularly confessing sin is healthy for a Christian to do. Just imagine if you got a bath only when you thought you were dirty. The dirt and grime that would pile up would be unhealthy for your body. Just confessing sins when you get caught or when your guilt finally bubbles over would be like getting a bath when you detect dirt. Not taking care of your unconfessed sin is unhealthy to you spiritually.

Another reason for not confessing your sins could be that you do not think you have sinned at all. The Bible says if we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves (1 John 1:8). You may be afraid to go to God to confess your sins. If we confess our sins, He will forgive us and purify us (1 John 1:9).

The weight of my mental illness and my baggage is more than enough for me to lug around without also carrying unconfessed sin. It is so freeing to lay my sins down at the feet of the cross every day. Jesus died once and for all. The penalty for our sins was paid by Jesus Christ, so we can live a life of freedom from sin.

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In the days of Jesus, tax collectors were not considered fine, upstanding citizens. Many times tax collectors were known to skim off the top to pad their own pockets. Whatever shady business practices Levi may have conducted, Jesus looked passed the sin in Levi’s life and saw the potential for greatness.

Jesus looked passed my sin and saw my potential as well. I spent a long time in the throes of mania and depression. My mental illness, coupled with the baggage of my upbringing, created a toxic environment where I made a multitude of unwise decisions. Many of the decisions were unsafe and risky. When I was finally diagnosed and during my therapy since, I have come to terms with the mistakes I have made.

With all the mistakes heaped one on top of another, there have been times when I have felt I was too far gone. My sins were far too great and I had this heavy load I was carrying around. It was as if I heard the voices of the Pharisees in my mind constantly reminding me of my sins.

The Bible says “But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed,” (Isaiah 53:5). Jesus took the penalty for my sins to the cross and nailed it there forever. I can live in peace and live as a healed person because of Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross.

Jesus came for people like me, who was lost in sin and who needed a savior (Luke 19:10). He extends His offer of freedom from sin to you, as well. Have you accepted it? Are you willing to open your heart to Him? If you have already accepted His gift of freedom from sin, be sure to spend some time thanking Him today.

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