What is this bipolar roller coaster?
Every day is an up and down; up, up, up; down, down, down; or a twist and turn on a mental ride I call the bipolar roller coaster. I ride the ups of the roller coaster when I fight the risky urges of mania. The downs of the roller coaster bring me to my knees when simple chores around the house become too overwhelming for me. The twists and turns of the mental illness makes me lonely when I shy away from people in the community or even my church.
Help is within reach
It dawned on me that since I am a Christian, I have the Holy Spirit living inside me. When Christ left this earth, He promised His Holy Spirit would come and dwell inside us for all eternity. Now, I have always known I have the Holy Spirit inside me since my decision to become a Christian at 9 years old. But this fact took on a whole new meaning in light of my endless bipolar rides. I thought to myself, the Holy Spirit is coming along for each and every ride? The Holy Spirit answered within me a resounding “Yes!”
Loneliness on the roller coaster
In the midst of my mental illness, I spend a lot of time feeling alone. My husband is getting so much better at knowing what to say or do in my time of grief just by being patient with me. It hasn’t been perfect, but we are slowly getting there.
My husband could never fully comprehend what it is like to spend a day trapped on my bipolar rollercoaster. Actually, I do not want him to know what it is like. I wouldn’t wish this madness on my worst enemy. It is a living nightmare never knowing what mood is going to engulf you from one minute to the next and having absolutely no control over it. Then you have to ride it out until the next mood comes along.
The loneliness disappears
Realizing the Holy Spirit is with me through every stomach churning hill on my bipolar rollercoaster, I do not feel so alone. I can pray to God knowing His Holy Spirit is camped out in my heart. Sometimes I do not know what to say because my head is so out-of-focus or is experiencing rapid thoughts. The Bible says the Holy Spirit intercedes for us with groanings (Romans 8:26). That gives me great comfort knowing that He will go to God on my behalf and cry for me with the perfect words my heart is trying to say.
The next time you feel alone whether you are going through a divorce, loss of a baby, lost a job, empty nest syndrome or had an automobile accident, realize you have the Holy Spirit dwelling inside you if you have accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. Reach out to Him. Depending upon your translation, John 14:26 calls the Holy Spirit an Advocate, Helper, Comforter or Counselor. Let the Holy Spirit come and cry to God for you.
My Comforter has helped me in my loneliness a multitude of times. He will do the same for you. He is also there when I am angry with rage, impatient, waiting for a test result, having relationship issues, a clog in the creativity drainpipe, or when the money is low. Trust in Him. Believe in His presence. God gave us the Holy Spirit so we may have His spirit within us on earth.
Call to Action
Do you have the Holy Spirit living inside you right now? If you do, great! Teach someone else about Him. If you do not, then I want to reach out to you. Please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I would love to speak with you and guide you to Jesus. You may also want to look at some of the Going Further websites.