I have bipolar limitations. I notice these limitations growing with each passing year. For instance, my memory is awful. I cannot remember what I said two minutes ago. I do not remember if I took my medicine. Or which medicine do I take at what time?
My ability to focus to read a book, on-line articles and digital meditations is getting worse. I was attempting this morning to read the daily devotion which is three short paragraphs. (I just lost my train of thought. LOL!) No music on, no T.V., me and God. Ok, refocus. I could not stay concentrated the entire time. My brain went hitchhiking for a thought, got one and took off. This limitation is the one I hate the most. I want to be able to read and learn. In order to remember things that I have read, I will have to take notes.
“You can be anything you want to be.”
I heard this sentence a lot when I was growing up. I was told I could be a doctor and at one point that was where I was heading. But, teaching science got my attention. When I was an adult, I took the LSAT which kicked my butt. I even took a Kaplan class to no avail. I attempted the GRE because I wanted to be an Ed.D. I also took classes for the GRE. Nope, they did not help.
For some reason I got it into my head that compliments were enough to smooth out my bipolar limitations. Although the compliments are nice and appreciated, they are a puffed up sense of reality since I have bipolar 1 with psychotic features, mixed episodes and rapid thoughts.
Of course there are people with J.D.’s and M.D.’s and PhD.’s. The plan for their bipolar life was a lawyer or doctor or professor. They were able to overcome their limitations. I am so very happy for them. My plan for my bipolar life is to be an advocate for the mentally ill. And I am very happy with that.
There are also bipolars like Terri Chaney who was a big-time LA entertainment lawyer who left the practice of law.
What a farce!
Saying I can be anything I want to be is a farce. Early on in my bipolar, my undergraduate studies were a walk in the park, at least what I could remember. I do not remember studying. I could not read a history chapter without falling asleep two minutes into it or get side-tracked thinking about a boyfriend or a party. I simply did not study because I could not remember what we talked about in class.
I firmly believe everybody is unique and designed by the Creator with a specific purpose. If everyone could be anything, that takes away our uniqueness and creativity. It makes us sound cookie-cutter-ish.
What do you think? Do you have any limitations? Do you think you can do anything or that you are unique with special characteristics fitted only for you? Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org or write in the comments section below.