How do you know when you are slipping into a bipolar depression? Is it a feeling in the pit of your stomach? A dark cloud beginning to hover over your head? How does your mood change?
I merely slipped into a depression
My husband had several errands he wanted me to take care of today. After he left for work, I began to devise a plan to complete the errands. Not soon after, the ominous clouds moved in.
All the usual symptoms.
Before long I was depressed.
I was in the pit
When I turned my thoughts to my list of errands, that is when my mood slipped down, down, down into the pit of despair. The weight of the responsibility of the errands and the time constraints produced a feeling of being overwhelmed. I felt worthless. If I did not do these errands or if I screwed them up, my husband would be very disappointed. And boy was I irritated.
These errands would take me to places where I would have to actually interact with people. At my first stop, I had to tell them what was wrong with our bill. Sometimes I get tongue-tied and the words do not come out how I wanted them. I was afraid of looking like a fool. The other two destinations required me to think on my feet. Bipolar depression s-l-o-w-s me down. I did not want to look stupid.
One of my coping mechanisms for bipolar depression is to neglect my hygiene. Yes, that means I do not get a shower and I do not wash my hair.
My personal hygiene is something I can control. My environment, is something that I cannot. In this case, I chose not to take a shower. To me that is like a camouflage uniform – protecting me from my fears.
A few other coping mechanisms I have used are: sleeping, eating, wasting time, reading, praying and self-hypnosis.
The Aftermath of Bipolar Depression
Now, I know it is not healthy to neglect my personal hygiene. That is not the best way to deal with the situation. You may have a coping mechanism that is unhealthy like eating a bag of Doritos. Sometimes you have to do what seems best the situation at the time.
What does Bipolar Depression look like for you? What type of symptoms do you have? Do you have any coping mechanism? Send me a comment or an email. firstname.lastname@example.org